OVERHEARD IN NEW YORK CITY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON: AN IMAGINARY REPORT

--"We need to organize a 'Trump the Terrible is Gone!' celebration and parade down Madison Avenue if everything does the way it should in Congress. We should probably start out by developing a list of prospective financiers for the event who have each gone on record as saying they support impeachment."

---"After Trump gets removed from office by Congress, I am sure there will be a campaign to rename the Trump Towers. Maybe we should sponsor a contest to see who can come up with the best name to help erase our memory of his disastrous legacy."

---"What bothers me the most about the Trump presidency is that it has brought to light for me the grim realization that many of our other presidents have also been very incompetent. His degree of incompetence is far greater than anything else I've ever seen in The White House, but there's still an overall societal problem of numerous undeserving Presidents that our country has been harmed by."

--"Maybe there's a need for a non-profit group that sponsors 'Presidential Vision' symposia and training workshops aimed at helping future prospective candidates to develop a comprehensive and substantative public-policy agenda and credibility of their own."

--"Personally, I think we could do a better job at the elementary-school level at identifying students who appear to have potential for Presidential leadership. Those promising youngsters could qualify for special 'Future Presidents of America' training programs. It's a bit like what they do with talented young tennis players. You identify their talent at an early age and you offer them lots of training programs to help them excel in that field."

---"To me, the fact that Donald has relocated his primary home address to Florida already tells me that he knows he's going to get removed from office. He figures that he will get less harassment about it from the media if he retires to Florida."

--"After Donald retires to Florida, maybe some of the news media organizations that have exposed his scandals the most extensively will establish news-gathering bureaus in the county where he's based. So Trump may well be waking up to unfavorable news stories about himself even after he retires to Florida."

--"I am sure that many of those senior citizens in Florida will be harassing Donald for years to come because they allege that he made a mockery of senior citizens. He is one of the oldest men we've ever had in the Presidency, and everyone could see he was brain-dead half the time when he spoke to the media."

---"As extremely complicated as the job of being a U.S. President is these days, maybe they need to develop a Presidential Super-Computer that the next Head of State can rely on for analyzing difficult public-policy issues using factual data and factually-based predictions."

---"I wonder who's going to play Donald Trump in the Hollywood movie about his ouster from office. I am very sure most actors won't want that role, unless they're allowed to portray him very unsympathetically."

---"Whoever replaces Trump after he gets removed from office will have to spend a lot of time sending out apology notes during their first week in office. Those apology notes will probably say something like, 'Please disregard everything that my immediate predecessor told you, as our nation has concluded this week that everything he ever told you is currently under review and has been automatically retracted in the meantime.'"

--"To me, the biggest legacy from the Trump White House is that he reminded us we need to have an official live-in White House Shrink or White House Nut-Case Doctor at all times, to help prevent the President from inflicting an excessive amount of insanity on the entire world."

---"I find it surprising that Donald plans to retire to Florida after he gets removed from office. The president who is most often compared to him, Richard Nixon, relocated to New Jersey after he was forced to resign. Maybe Donald figures he wouldn't be as popular in New Jersey as Dick Nixon was. But overall, New Jersey is a good place to be if you're infamous. Even the American atheists relocated their headquarters to Jersey after their leadership got kidnapped and murdered in Texas. Apparently they are thriving in Jersey these days, since I haven't heard about any of those relocated atheists being kidnapped."

---"Maybe we need a comprehensive Presidential Aptitude test that any candidate for the Presidency has to pass in order to even get considered by voters in the primaries. I am very sure that Donald would have failed the Presidential Aptitude test from day one, which would have spared him and our entire nation and world lots of misery if he had been disqualified at that early point."

--"What worries me is that the daily scandals about President Trump were just the tip of the iceberg. After he gets removed from elective office by Congress, we will be subjected to hundreds of additional scandal stories about Trump for years to come. Those stories will just add to the global outrage that American voters were stupid enough to vote for Trump."

---"There must be lots of Russians in Moscow who are laughing over the 'Demise of Donald', as many of us here in New York are dubbing it. Those Russians saw Donald as a tool for making the U.S. Presidency and our entire country the laughingstock of the entire world."


--"I have never heard of a U.S. President as unpopular in his primary foreign country of ancestry as Donald Trump has been. The people of Germany would all like to spit at his face, given the opportunity, that's how outraged they are by his disgusting misconduct in the White House. They probably find it very humiliating that his German ancestry has been publicized."

---"To me, the best thing about the removal of Trump from office by the U.S. Congress is that it shows a very rare example of civility toward a despised leader by the people of our country. I am very grateful that Trump will be leaving office while he's still alive, if you get my drift. It will prove to the entire world that we're a humane democratic nation dedicated to an honorable resolution of the crisis that was Donald Trump."

--"I agree with you that after Trump gets removed from office, there should be nationwide celebration of the fact that at least we achieved that in a civil and honorable and non-violent manner. Had Trump been the ruler of Russia, he might have been banished to Siberia and died of mysterious causes there that no news media organization was ever allowed to obtain reliable factual information about."

---"Personally, I don't think it's fair to say that anyone related to Donald Trump is also Satanic. You can't blame someone for being a biological relative of Donald. I don't believe in inherited sin myself, though I realize that many New Yorkers do believe in that concept."

--"I predict that if Donald Trump gets removed from office, his wife will also want a divorce. I am sure she will also be very alienated from him, at that point. So the ouster of Trump will have lots of ripple effects that he probably is not aware of at this point. He is probably assuming she will stay with him after he turns into the American Pariah Number One."

--"I am very surprised that I never heard any news commentator compare Trump to an infamous emperor of ancient Rome. Maybe I should do some research after he gets removed from office, to find out which Roman emperor was the one most frequently compared to Donald."

--"I already know one outcome from Trump's ouster from office by the U.S. Congress. I am sure that many of the expectant mothers and expectant fathers will choose AGAINST naming their new-born son 'Donald' or 'Don'. 'Don' is awkward, anyway, especially here in New York, since it makes you think of Mafia Dons of which we have far too many here."

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