Today (Thursday, September 29, 2016) at 5:57 AM
I enjoyed reading your post.
I happen to know a man who'd be a perfect roommate for you.
Unfortunately, he was murdered many years ago.
His name was Jesus Christ, and according to many writings, he was perfect.
via cPro for Craigslist
Why Can't I find an honest law-abiding new roommate applicant? (Arboretum)
I have been advertising for several weeks in my search for an honest, law-abiding new roommate for the modern, very spacious, 1,000-square-foot, carpeted, two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment unit where I live in beautiful northwest Austin.
Despite this, I have had ZERO opportunities for an in-person interview with a prospective new roommate. And I have had ZERO opportunities so far to show the apartment unit where I live to that prospective applicant.
What might explain this?
Among the possibilities:
---Many of the persons age 18 or older currently seeking to move into an apartment in Austin are addicted to marijuana or some other illicit drug. (I AM SEEKING A NEW ROOMMATE WHO DOES NOT CONSUME ANY MARIJUANA OR ANY OTHER ILLICIT DRUG.)
---Many of the prospective applicants in the Austin area consume tobacco. (I AM SEARCHING FOR A NEW ROOMMATE WHO DOES NOT CONSUME ANY TOBACCO PRODUCT.)
---Many of the prospective applicants are alarmed by the fact that I lead a completely celibate lifestyle. (I AM SEEKING A STRICTLY PLATONIC (NON-SEXUAL) INVOLVEMENT WITH A NEW ROOMMATE.)
---Some of the prospective applicants in the Austin area may be persons who have ties to organized crime. (I MYSELF AM VERY EMPHATICALLY SEEKING AN HONORABLE NEW ROOMMATE WHO DOES NOT HAVE ANY TIES TO ORGANIZED CRIME, AND WHO IS HIMSELF OR HERSELF LAW-ABIDING AND HONEST AND SUPPORTS LAW-ENFORCEMENT.)
----Some of the prospective applicants are persons who are currently addicted to alcohol. (I HAVE REPEATEDLY EMPHASIZED THAT I SEEK EITHER A COMPLETE ABSTAINER FROM ALCOHOL OR A LIGHT DRINKER AS MY ROOMMATE.)
----Some of the prospective roommate applicants are persons who worry that if I am older than they are, this means that I will take advantage of seniority. (IN FACT, I EXCEL AT NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SENIORITY: I TREAT A YOUNGER ROOMMATE WITH RESPECT AND POLITENESS AND CONSIDERATION.)
-----Some of the prospective roommate applicants worry that I lead a sedentary lifestyle. (IN FACT, I LEAD A PHYSICALLY ACTIVE LIFESTYLE IN WHICH I DO LOTS OF HIKING OR WALKING, INCLUDING IN MY CAREER AS A RESTAURANT-INDUSTRY EMPLOYEE, AND MY FAVORITE SPORTS THAT I ENJOY PURSUING IN MY LEISURETIME ARE RACQUETBALL, TENNIS, AND ROLLER SKATING.)