A SPECIAL 'THANK YOU' TO EACH OF THE FOLLOWING PERSONS I'VE BEEN ACQUAINTED WITH OR SPOKEN WITH ON THE TELEPHONE WHO EACH BOOSTED MY OWN MORALE THROUGH THEIR VERY RESPECTFUL, POLITE, CONSTRUCTIVE STYLE TOWARD ME WHENEVER I SPOKE WITH THEM:

---Evan Judd of Westlake Hills, Texas, in the late 1960s during a period when each of us were students at Eanes Elementary School of Eanes Independent School District. Evan's father, Dr. Burke Judd, was a zoology professor at The University of Texas at Austin.

--Mark Sparks, a calm and personable classmate of mine at Eanes Elementary School of Eanes ISD in Westlake Hills, Texas, was consistently very respectful and polite toward me, and kindly volunteered to me one day inside our classroom that he recommended a James Bond movie that he had particularly enjoyed watching at a movie theater in Austin. The cited movie featuring Sean Connery as the lead male actor may have been "Thunderball".

--Bob Percy, a member of the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Worcester, Massachusetts, who very kindly and generously met with me over coffee inside restaurants in Worcester and had philosophical-minded idealistic conversations with me in the 1980s. I appreciated the high estimation of my intellectual capabilities that Bob Percy very generously expressed.

--Danny Kjems, the youngest son of Jane Kjems of Auburn, Massachusetts, who greatly impressed me with his calm and respectful and constructive style in my conversations with him in the 1980s.

---Meredith McNabb, a friendly colleague of mine in the 1980s who was herself employed as a science-beat reporter at "The Minnesota Daily" student newspaper on the campus of the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. I was stationed at that student newspaper as a faculty-appointed training director for individuals hoping to become new reporters for the "Minnesota Daily".

--Ellen Thorne, a very respectful and articulate female schoolmate of mine in the 1970s at Stephen F. Austin High School of Austin Independent School District in Austin, Texas. I will always be grateful for the very kind and incisive signed legal letter on her Albuquerque law office's legal stationery that Ellen Thorne Skrak (her married name) in 1997 took the time to write and mail to me from her law firm office in Albuquerque, New Mexico, a reply letter to me in which Ellen politely advised me at that time to myself contact the American Civil Liberties Union and request legal assistance from that non-profit organization in regard to alleged violations of my own Constitutional rights or civil rights that were allegedly occurring in Austin, Texas, in the late 1990s. (On a parenthetical note, when I later contacted the ACLU in Texas on numerous occasions, I was very surprised to find that the ACLU of Texas repeatedly and consistently sent me a rejection letter, though in at least one surprising case I can recall, the ACLU in Texas did not send me any reply letter of any type relating to a possible cited Constitutional-rights issue or civil-rights issue I had mentioned in writing to the ACLU that related to my own living conditions in Austin, Texas. In any event, I will always be grateful to my very honorable former schoolmate Ellen Thorne Skrak for the incisive and well-intended legal referral she offered me in writing in 1997 to the ACLU in Texas.)

--Ernie Motloch, a former work supervisor of mine at Souper Salad Lakeline corporate-owned chain restaurant in Austin, Texas, who very kindly volunteered to me on the telephone about 10 years ago: "You (John Kevin McMillan of Austin) have been slandered (in Austin, Texas)!" Ernie was the only person of the dozens of persons I have consulted or spoken with in the last 30-year period who ever once stated to me that he sensed or believed or suspected that I myself have been victimized by alleged slandering of myself in either Austin, Texas, or some other cited city or town or county.

--Sean Reilly, a calm and very personable and hygienic waiter coworker of mine at IHOP Duval restaurant, was immaculately polite and friendly and warm toward me at the workplace on a very consistent basis during the period when I also worked as a waiter at that franchise-owned chain restaurant in northwest Austin near Duval Road. Within days after Sean's tenure at IHOP Duval ended, that handsome younger gentleman visited the restaurant and approached me while I was on duty and then enthusiastically stated to me: "You (John Kevin McMillan) are the greatest person I have ever met!" I felt very honored by that wonderful compliment from Sean. Later, when I dined alone inside Macaroni Grill chain restaurant near the Arboretum shopping center in northwest Austin, I was very impressed when a polite male host on duty there who directly indicated to me that he was the same Sean Reilly I had worked with before at IHOP Duval, briefly sat at my dining table and very briefly held my hand in a polite display of very kind empathy toward me during a challenging period for me in Austin that involved alleged anonymous communications I was being subjected to by others against my wishes. 

--Catherine Williams, editor of "Texas Journal of Ideas, History and Culture," a Humanities Texas publication in Austin, who very kindly volunteered to me on the telephone in the 1990s during a local phone call I made to her office from my parents' home in Westlake Hills, Texas: "I (Ms. Williams) read 'The New York Times' every day, and I do not believe that alleged violations of your (John Kevin McMillan's) own privacy rights currently occurring in the Austin area are justifiable" (approximate quote, with the phrase 'I read 'The New York Times' every day' an exactly quoted portion of the first portion of that one-sentence observation she kindly verbalized to me on the telephone.)

HOW MY ONE-MEMBER (MYSELF) AND NON-CHRISTIAN, CONSERVATIVE LEFT-WING 'PROGRESSIVE PROHIBITIONIST RELIGION' DIFFERS FROM OTHER RELIGIOUS GROUPS IN AUSTIN:

---My implicitly deistic religion politely opposes atheism for a reason that other denominations don't generally emphasize. Atheism exhibits an intolerance toward the freedom of speech and freedom of religion and freedom of assembly and freedom of association legal and Constitutional rights of those who, like me in that way, are NOT themselves atheistic. My own cheerfully optimistic and resourceful religion also opposes the negativism and bleakness that are pervasive in atheism and agnosticism.

--My implicitly-deistic, non-Christian, non-Unitarian, non-Judaistic, non-Moslem, new and fully-independent religion maintains that any and all deism-related statements about the origins of the universe, for instance, that are ever offered by this particular religion must be based on factual evidence that was obtained in the 20th Century or beyond, since scientifically-verifiable and modern and precise and potentially-applicable factual-evidence gathering techniques and technologies relating to the Universe and any possible or hypothetical supernatural phenomena began in the 20th Century.

---My implicitly-deistic religion emphasizes rational goal-setting as an alternative to prayer, with no prayer of any type ever being sponsored at any time by this particular non-atheistic, non-agnostic new religion.

---My implicitly-deistic religion is a non-proselytizing "Honor Society" religion with membership-eligibility criteria so stringent that at least 99 percent of all of the current adult residents in this capital city of Texas would not qualify for or be appropriate as prospective new members in my own religious denomination.

--My conscientious religion supports random-drug testing of all employees and all work supervisors by as many employers as possible in this notoriously drug-addicted state-capital city of Austin, with failure of a drug test on more than one occasion serving as a proposed basis for automatic termination of an employee.

--My public-health-minded and very conscientious religion maintains that anyone testing positive for the HIV virus should immediately lead a completely and permanently celibate lifestyle in which that HIV-positive person refrains from having intimate physical contact of any type with any other human being, and, when he or she feels a need to give or receive a hug, directs that hug instead toward a pet dog that the HIV-positive person might choose to raise or help raise. It has reportedly been determined that pet dogs cannot be infected with the HIV virus by human beings.

---My public-health-minded Progressive Prohibitionist Religion supports a legal requirement from the U.S. Government or the State of Texas that any nightclub serving alcohol must post a clearly visible announcement in the lobby of that establishment which states: "WARNING: The U.S. Government has determined that drinking alcohol inside a nightclub can increase your risk of contracting either the often-fatal HIV-virus or another sexually transmitted disease."

---My public-health-minded Progressive Prohibitionist Religion supports the government-ordered closing of any and all commercial sex parlors or houses of prostitution or so-called "bathhouses" where sexual activities occur in public places.

to be continued.

THE QUOTABLE NEW YORKER: MORE WIT AND WISDOM OVERHEARD IN MANHATTAN BY AN IMAGINARY EAVESDROPPER:

---"My son, Timothy, told me that he wants to meet the delegate who represents the North Pole at the United Nations. Timothy commented that if he meets that delegate, maybe Timothy will have the opportunity to meet Santa Claus through him. It seems that Timothy at age 5 is already developing strategies for getting the best possible Christmas present five months from now."

---"My 6-year-old son told me he was very disappointed to learn that there is no delegate officially representing the North Pole in the UN General Assembly. I told my son to write a letter to the UN Secretary General, asking him for assistance on that."

--"I don't recommend keeping any sharp cutting knives inside your apartment unit. If anyone breaks in, and here in Manhattan it's just a matter of time before they do, the last thing in the world you want them to find in your apartment are sharp knives. The intruder could grab one of those knives and stab you during your sleep."

--"To me, that sounds a bit simplistic. If you own any sharp cutting knives, just make sure they are locked in a special safe in your apartment at all times when you are not using them in the kitchen. But then again, some nighttime burglars might be drawn to the safe and figure out the combination, so if they manage to open the safe, it greets them with a murder weapon. Your idea of a 'zero-sharp-knives apartment' may well be wise here in Manhattan. This is not Topeka, Kansas. You have to be very careful at all times here. You have to always have strategies for foiling the criminal element on a 24-hour-a-day and year-round basis."

---"I find it odd that none of my friends have any special tradition for George Washington's birthday. We have an entire public square named after him, but none of us honor Dear Old George by throwing a party or banquet to celebrate his birthday. Is that any way to show respect for the first U.S. President to live in New York during his Presidency?"

---"Many New Yorkers are embarrassed by the fact that George Washington had paler skin than 90 percent of the New Yorkers of today. 'To honor him is a bit like kissing Uncle Sam,' as an Asian-American New Yorker might comment. 'It feels so very, very archaic to kiss a white man in this day and era,' the Asian New Yorker might then add with a sour look on his face."

--"I'm new to New York, so I'm not sure which Rockefeller paid for Rockefeller Center. Would you please tell me whether that was Nelson Rockefeller or someone else?"

---"When you live in a top-floor apartment, you are always worried that some burglar in a helicopter will somehow land on top of your complex and break in. My nightmares during my sleep so often feature a burglar in a helicopter assaulting me at nighttime when I'm lying alone on my bed sound asleep. This is one of the reasons why I hate helicopters. To me, they're a threat to my personal safety even though I never ride in one."

---"I plan to join the National Safety Council on an individual basis, to protect me from all the forces here in New York that conspire against my own personal safety on a 24-hour-a-day and year-round basis. Membership in the National Safety Council is my way of warding off evil spirits."

--"Maybe you should keep a diary or journal about the conversations with strangers you have on subways here. If you can get a stranger sitting next to you to actually talk to you, that is quite a remarkable feat here in New York. So why not chronicle those amazing moments with a detailed account about each of those conversations you had while riding a subway?"

--"My favorite philanthropy project is the monthly tradition I have of treating a hostess or busboy or front-desk clerk to lunch and friendly conversation with me here in Manhattan. I think we so often overlook the support-staff people of life who make our own life here so very elegant and enjoyable."

--"Is it really all that megalomaniacal of me to identify with Superman? I think most of us do. So it isn't just another psychological malaise when I wear a Superman cape  during my leisuretime. I identify with being ultra-heroic. We have three types of New Yorkers: the ultra-heroic, the heroic, and the anti-heroic. I would definitely fall into the first category. In fact, some of my friends call me Clark, to honor my Superman status. But I'm determined not to get complacent about it. After all, remember what happened to that famous actor who played Superman and then got paralyzed in an accident."

--"Personally, I feel that anyone who identifies with being ultra-heroic is endangering his own safety. One of these days when you're drunk, you may attempt to fly to the scene of a crime in order to save a victim in the middle of being attacked, and you will instead merely turn into a front-page story in the 'Daily News' about the most recent example of a New Yorker with a Superman complex that proved to have been fatal for him."

--"You should keep in mind that we have in this City thousands of Superman haters who delight in physically assaulting anyone wearing a Superman cape during his leisuretime. So if you think that wearing a Superman cape is exciting, that's nothing compared to the excitement you'll get from an illicit-youth gang attacking you for allegedly being a White Supremacist in a Cape.  So many African-Americans regard Superman as a symbol of white persons having power over black persons. So when you wear the cape, you provoke our city's minorities."

--"My friend Erica has developed this hobby of reading each of the historic markers she finds here. I told her that is a very dull way to study history, but she insists on doing it. This is her way of getting to know New York in-depth, she tells me. So I always remind her that if someone gave her a pop quiz on her knowledge of New York history, she would definitely fail. No one actually remembers anything they ever read in our city's historic markers. They are elaborate display items that are merely for show. You see them from a distance, but you ignore the fine print."

A QUESTION FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP THAT HE APPARENTLY NEVER GETS ASKED

President Trump, how important is it to you that the United States be or become the number one nation in the entire world for achievement each year of new technological innovations in recycling of paper products and other recyclable items that otherwise might have been discarded as trash?

TEN OR MORE QUESTIONS THAT COULD SAVE THE LIFE OF A YOUNGER PERSON, IF HE WOULD DEVOTE SOME THOUGHT TO THESE:

---When are you at your happiest while completely sober?

--Which have been your completely sober "peak emotional experiences" from the most recent year or two of your life?

--If you could pick one or two persons as "coffee and conversation companions" or "tea and conversation companions" for you in your current metro area or town, which persons would you choose for those types of non-alcoholic outings?

---If you could pick one or two persons from the most recent year or two who have the most calming effect on you when you converse with them in person during your leisuretime, who would those individuals be?

--If you could pick one or two persons who elicit in you the greatest feeling of platonic pleasure, or non-sexual pleasure, which persons would that be?

---With which of your current friends or friendly acquaintances do you most look forward to having in-person conversations during your leisuretime?

---Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individuals consistently exhibit the most respect and sincerity of appreciation and generosity toward you as a human being?

---Of all the persons you interact with in recent years who appear to inspire in you a greater sense of self-dignity, which individuals would you cite?

---Of all the persons you interact with who treat you like a "Very Important Person," or "VIP", which individual or individuals do you appreciate the most from that standpoint?

--Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individual or individuals listen the most carefully to what you say, and offer the most consistently constructive responses to your comments?

--Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individual or individuals appear to remember the best what you tell them about yourself and your own life?

---Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individuals have consistently refrained from ever pressuring you into doing anything that was in possible violation of the law?

--Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individuals exhibit the greatest interest in your own medical health and in your ability to pay your bills and in your finding a job or career for yourself that you enjoy and can make good money from?

---Of all the persons you interact with these days, which individuals have opened the most doors for you, so to speak, and helped to expand your opportunities in your career or in your overall life?

TO BE CONTINUED.

MY ONE-MEMBER (ONLY MYSELF, AT PRESENT) AND NON-CHRISTIAN PROGRESSIVE PROHIBITIONIST RELIGION (PPR) IN A NUTSHELL:

--PPR SUPPORTS A PROPOSED NEW AMENDMENT TO THE U.S. CONSTITUTION THAT PERMITS ANY MUNICIPALITY, ANY COUNTY, AND ANY STATE TO AT THAT LOCAL LEVEL APPROVE BY SIMPLE-MAJORITY VOTE A BAN OR RESTRICTION OF ANY TYPE, WHETHER TEMPORARY OR PERMANENT, ON THE SALE OF ANY CITED TYPE OR CATEGORY OF DRINKING ALCOHOL, THE SALE OF ANY AND ALL TOBACCO PRODUCTS, THE SALE OF MARIJUANA, THE SALE OF MEDICAL MARIJUANA, THE COMMERCIAL OPERATION OF TATTOO PARLORS, THE COMMERCIAL OPERATION OF PROFESSIONAL BOXING EVENTS, AND THE COMMERCIAL OPERATION OF PROFESSIONAL RACE-CAR EVENTS.

---PPR ENTHUSIASTICALLY SUPPORTS THE USE OF CERTAIN TYPES OF DRINKING ALCOHOL THAT CAN ENHANCE THE FLAVOR OF FOODS, SUCH AS WINE AND COOKING SHERRY AND RUM, IN PREPARATION OF CULINARY DISHES IN THE KITCHEN, WITH THE CLEAR UNDERSTANDING THAT THE ALCOHOL ITSELF EVAPORATES DURING THE COOKING PROCESS AND THE FLAVOR IS WHAT REMAINS.

---PPR AGREES THAT IT IS ACCEPTABLE FOR SOME FOOD PRODUCTS, SUCH AS SOME MUSTARD PRODUCTS,  TO CONTAIN TRACE QUANTITIES OF WINE, WITH THE CLEAR UNDERSTANDING THAT INGESTION OF THAT FOOD PRODUCT WILL NOT IMPAIR THE JUDGMENT OF OR DAMAGE THE HEALTH OF THE PERSON EATING IT.

--PPR SUPPORTS A WELL-FINANCED AND WELL-COORDINATED NATIONWIDE NETWORK OF AFFORDABLE DRUG-ADDICTION TREATMENT CENTERS, ALCOHOL-ADDICTION TREATMENT CENTERS, AND TOBACCO-ADDICTION TREATMENT CENTERS, WITH THE GOAL BEING TO HELP SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCE THE PERCENTAGE OF AMERICANS WHO ARE ADDICTED IN ANY OF THOSE CATEGORIES.

---PPR STRONGLY SUPPORTS FINANCIAL INCENTIVES FOR EMPLOYERS TO IMPLEMENT RANDOM-DRUG TESTING OF CURRENT AND PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEES AT AS MANY WORKPLACES AS POSSIBLE, WITH FAILURE OF A RANDOM-DRUG-TESTING TEST ON MORE THAN TWO OCCASIONS BEING AN AUTOMATIC BASIS FOR TERMINATION OF THAT EMPLOYEE.

TO BE CONTINUED.

MANHATTAN REVISITED: A JULY 2017 IMAGINARY EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT

---"My friend George is subscribing to an online criminal-background-check service, and lately he's been so obsessed with it that he's doing background checks on everyone, including the elevator operator for his apartment building. George insisted on obtaining that elevator operator's last name, first name, and middle initial, since George felt it would be a potentially fatal mistake if he overlooked that angle. I told George that he's so addicted to doing background checks that he might as well ask each taxi driver George waves down to provide a full name, including middle initial, before George even thinks of getting into that driver's taxi."

---"You're exactly right about elevator operators as potential crime suspects whenever anyone gets raped or murdered in your apartment building. The elevator operator is one of the first ones the Homicide Squad should interview, but often they overlook him for some reason."

---"I don't blame her for planning to develop a  new website exploring misconceptions about Sicilians and the island of Sicily. Since she is 100 percent Sicilian in ancestry, Gina is frequently being insulted by other ladies here who emphatically declare to Gina that 'your genealogy must read like a "Who's Who of Mafia Figures"'. Gina tells me she is very sure that no one in her own family history has ties to the Mafia, and she's determined to help vindicate the many honorable Sicilians who can say the same."

---"It's entirely possible there are some villages in Sicily where Mafia infiltration of the local economy is non-existent. To me, those villages should get specially honored, such as through a special awards ceremony announcing that they were recently certified as Mafia-free. It would make a fine media event for the President of Italy to preside over."

---"I always check the fingernails of my waiters when I dine out here in Manhattan. I can usually tell from their fingernails if my waiter is a drug addict. And if they fail the fingernail-inspection test, in lieu of a tip I always leave a card for them on the dining table, providing them with factual information about drug-treatment programs here that I recommend."

---"Whenever I dine out in Manhattan and my waiter greets me with a nice smile, I will ask him if he can name any President of the United States or Supreme Court Justice who has cited restaurant-waitering on his resume. I notice that the smile on my waiter's face collapses whenever I pose that question to him."

---"The type of clergyman I need is one who does not invite confessions from his congregation. If I joined a religious group where the clergyman expects me to confess my sins to him, I would find that humiliating to the point of mortifying. I have a first-rate memory, and I can easily recall at least 100 sins I've committed, the majority of them sins that would make a priest's face turn beet red with shock."

---"I find it tragic how many New Yorkers cite 'committing sins' as their favorite hobby. They delight in their pursuit of sin so thoroughly that they even boast about it on Facebook. Name a vice that some NYPD squad has investigated, and those New Yorkers have pursued that vice so incessantly and so relentlessly that they're world-notorious in that category. They might as well wear T-shirts declaring to everyone that 'I'm a Devil-Worshiper and Proud of It!'"

---"I find it very eerie that some of the New Yorkers who root for Duke University in basketball games have admitted to me that they like the Blue Devils mascot for that squad because it matches their own religious beliefs. Leave it to New Yorkers to embody and amplify flagrant forms of perversion 24 hours a day, every day of the year!"

---"I think Andrea joined a devil-worshiping cult here partly because she has a habit of telling everyone after every sex orgy she shamelessly participates in that 'The devil made me do it!' She openly joined the demonic cult, I think, to be consistent with her lifestyle practices here in Manhattan, since otherwise she would feel as if she were living a lie."

---"I am very shocked that Andrea attends orgies in the year 2017. I can understand if she had done that in a previous decade, but not in the current one. It's a bit like fiddling while Rome burns, the famous story about Emperor Nero. Why should Andrea be running around naked at a sex orgy while the rest of us are trying to figure out how to protect our national security from Russian infiltration of the White House? Andrea's timing is way off, if you ask me, and she's very mistaken if she thinks she'll get paid $50,000 by Playboy Magazine when photographs from her orgies somehow get published in Playboy under the headline, "The More, the Merrier in Manhattan: Multiply Orgasmic Pleasures at New York-Style Sex Orgies'

MORE PROPOSED HUMOR MATERIAL FOR A COMEDIAN DELIVERING STAND-UP COMEDY FOCUSED ON AUSTIN, TEXAS, IN THE YEAR 2017:

--"Austin is the only city in Texas where, if you visit a bakery to order a brownie, you have to specify to the store clerk that 'I am looking for a brownie without any marijuana inside'."

---"I will tell you the most common mistake that Austinites who drink alcohol make that can get them in trouble with the law. They forget that it's illegal indecent exposure for them to urinate outdoors on public property. If anyone happens to glance at them from the wrong angle when they are mysteriously standing near a bush at 3 a.m. and then dials 911, the public urinator could end up in jail if a police officer gets there in time to catch them in the act. 
"This is assuming, of course, that a police officer is already standing nearby at the time, such as along East Sixth Street at 3 a.m. on a weekend.
"Austin men can avoid spending time in jail for exhibiting their penis in public if they would just remember to keep their trousers on whenever they feel an urge to urinate at 3 a.m. at night and they're standing outdoors. Even if lots of urine suddenly leaks out and gushes onto the ground, no APD officer will arrest them for having a leak in their pants at 3 a.m. in the morning. After all, the urinator can use the excuse that he had a very mysterious and sudden onset of bladder-control problems at age 21, and he plans to consult a urologist about it."

---"A friend of mine recently visited Austin and told me he wanted to know why nearly all the men in Austin wear beards these days. I told him they're all members of a secret society called 'Admirers of Abraham Lincoln'. It was the best answer I could come up with. But I'm not sure whether it was the correct answer. The answer I gave implied that Austin men are all very keen on 19th Century American history. But I know that's unlikely.
"One of the primary reasons why most Austin men lack interest in the 19th Century is they read in 'The Austin Chronicle' that there was no marijuana being smoked here back then. To them, it was a 'Dullsville' period in American history: 'Can you imagine what life was like before the reefer?', a typical Austin man will ask you with incredulity in his tone of voice if you ask him about the 1800s."

---"When I meet an Austin gentleman for the first time and want to get to know him better, I always ask if we can meet for breakfast in a coffeeshop. This keeps them sober for a full 45 minutes, which makes it easier for me to tell if I might be compatible with them as a prospective friend. When they're drunk, you can never be sure. They spew out so much profanity when they're drunk that it's difficult for me to know what they're like when they are at their deepest and most thoughtful. Austin men tend to be a lot like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. If at all possible, make sure that your interactions with them are during their Dr. Jekyll periods. Otherwise, they might punch you in the face when they're doing their Mr. Hyde imitation in this London of Texas, as Austin is sometimes called, where half the time our men's heads are lost in a pea-soup fog."

----"Austin is the only city in Texas that boasts about everyone in town being a weirdo. Weirdos tend to do very strange things, particularly at 4 a.m. in the morning when the few predictably straight persons left in our truly odd city along the Colorado are LEAST likely to want to have ANY involvement with our city's 'Keep Austin Weird' crowd. Think about it. At 4 a.m. in the morning, Austin's weirdest get even weirder, if you can imagine that. They begin shoving dildos into any orifice on your body that they can identify, including your mouth and belly button, in a frenzied outburst of derangement at that hour."

---"One of my favorite pastimes in Austin is to count how many ear-rings and nostril rings and tongue rings the Austinite I'm looking at is currently featuring that involved body piercings. The most I've counted so far is 50, but that sounds like a low figure for this city hellbent on being as weird as possible at all times."

--"One of the best ways to stump a member of the Austin City Council is to ask them for an estimate on the percentage of all current Austin residents who are drug addicts. If you want a straight answer, which implies that Council member is fully sober at the time, not high at the time, and straightforward enough to directly answer the question, and it's best not to take any of those traits for granted whenever you contact a Council member in this capital city where even our overpass exchanges on freeways are shaped like marijuana leafs instead of clover leafs, you will be very disappointed. If you're lucky, the Council member may reply to you in a dazed-sounding voice with the following exact verbatim statement on the phone: 'I'd like to REEFER you to another City official who may have an answer to your question."

---"One of the red flags we have in Austin about the citywide nature of our illicit-drug crisis here occurs every time City Council convenes and fails to publicly acknowledge that we have a marijuana-addiction crisis and cocaine-addiction crisis in our state-capital city. One of my own favorite fantasies is to attend an Austin City Council meeting where a representative for the Attorney General of Texas requests permission to speak, and uses that opportunity to publicly reprimand the entire City Government of Austin for failing to adequately and comprehensively address the illicit-drug-addiction crisis throughout this city. Austinites who are sober and straight enough to note the point, are probably observing in their confidential diaries that this drug-crazed city of Austin is very lucky to still be holding the state-capital legal status that the Texas Legislature and voters of Texas permit Austin to have."

IF I WERE A COMEDIAN---ONE JOB TITLE I WILL NEVER HAVE---I MIGHT USE SOME OF THE FOLLOWING LINES:

--"It's always exciting to watch two young people today getting hot and heavy with each other in public. From what I've observed, they rub the cell phone of one of them against the cell phone of the other. It's safe sex, since no semen results from that cell-phone fornication."

--"I call them cell-phone phoneys. They hold their cell phone in public like a status symbol, when they are secretly worried that someone will call them on their bluff and ask them exactly who is texting to them at that moment and exactly what are they planning to text back in reply?"

--"It's always a thrill to live in a country where everyone on television is always asking, 'Can She Sing?', and I myself am always asking, 'Can She Write Decent Lyrics?' Never in human history have more people been singing so prolifically during a period in which their lyrics were so utterly and completely devoid of human intellect or idealism or redeeming social value."

--"I would define cultural illiteracy today as not knowing how to immediately identify for the Austin Police Department or Travis County District Attorney each of the 10 most commonly smoked or snorted or sniffed or ingested illicit drugs being consumed in big quantities in the Austin, Texas, of today."

--"What Austin, Texas, desperately needs is an Austin Police Department-sponsored workshop for Austin's very finest vigilant private citizens. It would be a workshop that teaches them how to immediately identify correctly each of the 20 most frequently consumed illicit drugs in Austin of today. That workshop will also teach admirably vigilant Austinites why it's urgent for them to call 911 ASAP if they are fairly sure they directly observed evidence of any of the above foreign substances anywhere in this state capital that many refer to as the Drug Den of the Southwest."

--"This state capital's namesake, Stephen F. Austin, would roll over in his grave if he were to learn that Austin, Texas, of today is a leading drug den of the Southwest."

--"I think anyone who lives in the Austin, Texas, of today is inevitably asking himself about the origins of the term 'drug den'. Those two words in combination tell you as much about the heritage of Austin of today as anything else you will ever find here."

--"Austin attracts so many drug addicts as new residents that legend has it that when a newcomer to Austin sees the 'Welcome to Austin' sign and then steps into our city's boundaries for the first time ever, his first question is: 'So where's my free reefer I was promised I would get for joining the Marijuana Community here?'"


--"We have all heard about the national political leader in the United States who promised the American people 'chicken in every pot.' Well, if you live in Austin, Texas, in the year 2017, you might as well change that pledge to 'pot in every chicken'."

--"I don't blame the parents in Austin who hire a drug-sniffing dog to greet any young man wanting to date their daughter. If the dog barks a certain way, this tells the parents that the young man has just failed a drug-sniffing test here in this state capital city. So it turns into an immediate elimi-date situation, you might say."

--"Austin these days has a new Medical School that billionaire Michael Dell financed. And if most Austinites had their way, that Medical School would be required to spend half of its budget on trying to prove that marijuana is a form of medicine."

--"I think everyone wonders where the famous movie 'Reefer Madness' was filmed. To me, Austin is as good a guess as any. You won't find any city with more reefers per capita that have a maddening effect on anyone and everyone who is actually sober and straight."

--"Austinites are among the most oversexed people in America. In fact, one local observer recently quipped that there should be an official City of Austin sign welcoming newcomers here that states, 'Welcome to Sodom and Gonorrhea'."

--"Austin is one city where it's recommended that you never ask a pregnant woman who the lucky father is. 'You're assuming the pregnancy is wanted, and that's an unfair culturally biased assumption you are making,' the pregnant woman may snap at you. 'There is no lucky father, and I'm very definitely NOT a lucky mother. I'm waiting for an abortion."

IF I WERE PAID TO GENERATE POSSIBLE STORY IDEAS FOR A NATIONWIDE NEWSPAPER COVERING THE UNITED STATES, I MIGHT OFFER THE FOLLOWING PROPOSED STORY IDEAS:

---Has there been a trend in the last few decades toward American society publicly praising and financially rewarding American citizens who consume as few fossil fuels as possible in their everyday lives?

---Is there any trend emerging on U-Tube in which various Americans each give a "show-and-tell" speech devoting several minutes or longer to describing the "story" behind each and every one of the tattoos that have been emblazoned on their own bodies?

---Which American sociologist or social psychologist has studied the trend toward an increasing percentage of all Americans having tattoos emblazoned on several organs or parts of their own bodies? How does that sociologist or social psychologist explain the addiction to tattoos by millions of Americans of today, and especially by adult younger Americans?

---Has Columbia University's research center that specializes in the study of addictions added "an addiction to getting tattooed" to that center's list of potentially harmful or very harmful addictions that many Americans develop or sustain?

--Are there any professional artists or art professors who maintain that the trend toward Americans getting tattooed all over their own body bears any similarities to the trend toward Americans pursuing "graffiti art" on the walls of public restrooms or subway stations or public buildings? Are heavily tattooed Americans exponents of a form of "mobile graffiti art", as they may see it, with those heavily tattooed Americans possibly making the statement to anyone and everyone, no matter where they travel to or visit, that "I myself am a Work of Art, and also a Traveling Work of Art since I am human and I walk around and travel quite a bit."

--Does any archaeologist maintain that Americans exhibiting tattoos all over their bodies are possibly exhibiting conscious or subconscious empathy toward 19th Century African-American slaves, who were forced to endure welts on their own body that were inflicted on them by slave-owners wielding branding irons?

--Does any archaeologist maintain that Americans bearing often-cryptic tattoos on their own bodies remind that historical researcher of the symbol-filled and mysterious artworks that ancient persons often pursued on the walls of caves?

--Are there any scholars of the American Presidency who are dreading the day when the first Presidential candidate in the United States announces publicly that he or she is "very proud to have numerous tattoos emblazoned on my own body"? Or has that "historic first" in the history of American Presidential campaigns and American Presidential Primary campaigns already occurred?

---Has the genealogy-DNA-trace service that charges a minimal fee in exchange for a thorough racial and national ancestry DNA trace on a person, triggered an increased ancestral pride for many of the Americans who were not completely sure about their own racial and national ancestry?

---Has the genealogy-DNA-trace service that advertises on television also contributed to a growing awareness by millions of Americans that their own racial ancestry and national ancestry was far more varied than they had previously assumed? Has this modern information from DNA traces played any role in reduced racism or reduced national-heritage or ethnic-heritage chauvinism by many Americans?

---Which U.S. state, if any, has been the most successful at preventing or deterring abuse of "power of attorney authority" by any particular private citizen in that state toward another private citizen in that state?

--What has been the long-term trend in the percentage of all Americans who married an individual whom they had first become acquainted while employed at the same workplace as that person? Are the marriages resulting from "office romances", as they are sometimes called, more likely to fail than other marriages?

--Has there ever been any comprehensive or in-depth nationwide study on Americans of Palestinian ancestry who reside in the United States? What might explain why there has been so little news media attention about the lifestyles and accomplishments and aspirations of Palestinian-Americans of the 21st Century?

--Does any member of Congress want to see federal immigration laws revised to assign high priority to permitting Palestinians in the Middle East to emigrate to the United States?



-

WARNING TO AMERICAN MOTORISTS: ONE OF EVERY FIVE DRIVERS FACING YOU ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS MAY BE DRUNK

That information is contained in the following sentence on page 244 in a book of essays by New York-based American talk-show host Dick Cavett that is entitled "Brief Encounters" ---- a copyright-2014 New York Times book published by Henry Holt and Company of New York City, New York:

"Every bit as disturbing is the statement of a highway patrolman I know that one out of five drivers heading toward you --- or your kids --- in the oncoming lane on Friday and Saturday night is over the intoxication limit. Or, less politely, drunk."

On pages 247-248 of the above-cited book "Brief Encounters", Mr. Cavett offers the following bleak factual statement from one of his readers, "geomurshiva of Cooperstown, New York" (the only citation information for that reader that I was able to find in Mr. Cavett's cited book):

"Being a critical care nurse for a long time, I have seen what alcohol can do to any one of us. We think most often of the long term drinker and the liver failure and the disorientation and the sad last days of coma and the family at the bedside crying so sadly for the loss of another life to booze....But, for most of us serving the sick we cry more for the younger ones who got drunk at a college party and then went driving only to die in a car crash or sustain brain injury and paralysis...."

These two very brief quoted items are excerpts from the essay "Cavett on Booze, Again", that is contained on pages 244 through 248 of Mr. Cavett's refreshingly candid book entitled "Brief Encounters".

The above-cited book is jointly copyrighted by Richard A. (Dick) Cavett and by The New York Times daily newspaper of New York City, New York. Each of the essays in the book "Brief Encounters" originally appeared, "in slightly different form," on the The New York Times's official website, an introductory page for the book states.

This 2017 blog from myself, John Kevin McMillan of Austin, Texas, is being offered as a public-service announcement from my one-member (myself, only, at present) and non-Christian, non-proselytizing, fully independent Progressive Prohibitionist Religion, a new "Honor Society" religious denomination with very stringent membership-eligibility requirements. All of the membership of my own factually-based, implicitly-deistic, non-praying and rational-goal-setting-minded religion (myself, only, at present) permanently abstain on a 24-hour-a-day and year-round basis from consumption of alcohol.

Use of cooking alcohol (cooking sherry or certain types of wine, for instance) inside one's own residence for the preparation of culinary dishes in which the drinking alcohol evaporates during the cooking process, is enthusiastically endorsed by my new religion. This alternative use for some types of alcohol appears to be safe and healthful, and also adds flavor to culinary dishes.

My currently-only-one-approved-member religion also regards it as permissible for membership of my denomination to consume some food products (some mustard products, for instance) in which the quantity of wine, for instance, is only minimal or a "trace" ingredient only, and the alcohol for that reason is cited as the very last item in the ingredients list provided by the food-product's manufacturer. There is no factual evidence I myself have ever obtained which would indicate that this very minimal consumption of a trace of alcohol that's an ingredient in a commercially prepared mustard, would be in any way harmful to one's own liver or overall medical health, or would impair one's judgment or thinking skills or level of alertnesss in any way.

Use of alcohol in cooking inside one's own home is very safe for the entire Progressive Prohibitionist Religion membership (myself, only, at present). This is true partly because my new religion is exclusively for non-alcoholic persons. Any person with a current or prior history of alcohol addiction (or illicit-drug-addiction, for that matter) --- someone who would have been at risk of drinking alcoholic beverages that they might store or keep in their own home --- would NOT qualify for membership in my own Progressive Prohibitionist Religion.

Since my "Honor Society" religion permanently excludes alcoholics and recovering alcoholics from membership, there is absolutely zero risk that a member of my own religion would ever undergo a "relapse" in which he might ever actually drink alcohol ever again at any time or in any context.

A RANDALL'S (SAFEWAY) MUESLI BREAKFAST CEREAL THAT I LIKE FOR FLAVOR, NUTRITIONAL BENEFIT, AND MEDICAL-HEALTH BENEFIT:

The "Signature Kitchens" Muesli from Safeway that I purchased this month from the nearby Randall's Supermarket contains the following ingredients, among others:

---whole barley;
---wheat bran;
---dates;
---raisins;
---degermed corn meal;
---whole oats;
---almonds;
---rice.

From what I have been told, Muesli-type cereals are very popular in Germany. 

The Muesli product that I purchased is distributed by Better Living Brands, LLC, of Pleasanton, California. The phone number for that American company is 1-888-723-3929.

ADVANTAGES TO THIS PARTICULAR MUESLI BREAKFAST CEREAL:


--Much better flavor and taste than the vast majority of the breakfast cereals with 12 grams of sugar or less per serving, with one serving being definable as two-thirds of a cup;

--A significant share of the sugar content in this cereal comes from the healthful raisins and healthful dates provided in this cereal;

--Offers 210 mg of potassium per serving;

---Contains 4 grams of dietary fiber per serving;

---Contains 5 grams of protein per serving;

---Contains no cholesterol and no saturated fat;

---Contains 100 percent of the minimum daily allowance for Vitamin B6, Folate, and Vitamin B12.

---Contains 15 percent, 20 percent, 25 percent, or 30 percent, depending on the vitamin or mineral, of the minimum daily allowance for Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Thiamin, Riboflavin (30 percent), Niacin, Phosphorus, Magnesium, and Zinc.

TEN POSSIBLE WAYS YOU CAN TRULY HELP AND TANGIBLY BEFRIEND A GENTLEMAN OR LADY DURING HIS OR HER TEENS OR TWENTIES:

(1) Offer to help that younger person obtain an affordable comprehensive health insurance policy that could save his or her life.

(2) Offer to help pay for the financial expenses they might incur if they ever decide at any time to enroll in an illicit-drug-addiction or licit-drug-addiction or tobacco-addiction or alcohol-addiction treatment program.

(2a) Politely mention to that younger person that you have a "friend" (if true) who is a drug-addiction treatment counselor, and you feel sure that friend of yours would be willing to provide that younger gentleman or lady with a confidential in-person consultation session at that friend's office or clinic.

(3) Find and give that younger person a copy of an incisive and factual book that bears a title such as, "Are You Someone Who Has an Ongoing 'Relationship' with a Drug Dealer, but You Feel Sure That You Yourself 'Have No Ties to Organized Crime'?", with that book exploring the various ways in which a "relationship" with an organized crime dealer can increase a person's risk of being charged with a crime or having extensive ties to organized crime or can pose a safety hazard and health hazard to the "client" of that drug dealer. The factual book or booklet could contain numerous real-life horror stories about cruel and injurious conduct that real-life drug dealers have inflicted on clients of theirs, including the sale to their clients of illicit drugs that the drug dealer knew in advance to be laced with a potentially lethal ingredient that would put their client in an emergency room of a hospital.

(4) Find a factual book of statistics that provides information for the younger person about a wide variety of categories of lifestyle conduct that have each been found to increase the risk of a person being robbed of a full and creatively vital medical longevity or lifespan. Among the high-risk activities that the book might cite, along with statistics on increased risk of dying young or being permanently injured for life from that activity, are: sky-diving; rock-climbing; mountain-climbing; skiing; water-skiing; boxing; race-car driving; riding a motorcycle; jaywalking; jaywalking across a street during a period of heavy traffic; crossing the street late at night while wearing dark clothing; driving above the speed limit on the roadway; binge drinking on a frequent basis; smoking tobacco cigarettes; smoking marijuana cigarettes; and consuming cocaine.

(5) Provide that younger person with a factual information sheet citing each of the medically documented ways in which their obtaining a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night will benefit their own medical and emotional health and intellectual vitality.

(6) Provide that younger person with a factual pamphlet or information sheet that cites each of the ways in which sustaining an unwanted pregnancy or subjecting a female person to an unwanted pregnancy can be harmful to individuals, as well as to others.

(7) Provide that younger person with a factual information sheet about the harmful effects from an addiction to gambling.

(8) Offer to help pay for a comprehensive medical-wellness exam on that younger person by a first-rate medical doctor, with that exam to include tests for each and every possible sexually transmitted disease, including the HIV virus.

(9) Provide that younger person with a factual pamphlet that bears a title such as, "Safety Risks and Medical Health Risks that Anonymous Sex Partners and Pick-up Bars Inflict On Your Own Life."

(10) Offer to help that younger person find a safer vehicle for transporting himself or herself around town, regardless of whether that safer vehicle is a car or a truck, that is also comfortable and consumes as few fossil fuels as possible.

'PROGRESSIVE PROHIBITIONIST RELIGION' IDEA: OFFICIALLY ADOPT THE MEXICAN METHOD FOR DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN THE NUMBER '7' AND THE NUMBER '1'---WITH A SLASH THROUGH THE NUMBER '7' CLEARLY SIGNIFYING THAT IT STANDS FOR 'SEVEN'

My pragmatically idealistic and non-Christian "Progressive Prohibitionist Religion" advocates a change in the way the number "7" is handwritten or typed in the United States.

If there were a slash in the middle of the number "7", this would help to eliminate ambiguity as to whether the number is a "7" or a "1".

Elimination of that ambiguity would help to avoid bookkeeping errors, and errors in reading home addresses -- a potential major financial benefit or lifesaver to millions of Americans.

The proposed official adoption by the U.S. Congress of the method used by Latin American nations in identifying the number "7", will also promulgate the message to the entire world that the U.S.A. is very receptive to clever, helpful ideas and traditions that come from other nations, including from Latin American nations.

FREQUENT CRAIGSLIST RESPONDENT 'GREG S.' OF AUSTIN, TEXAS, ON SATURDAY, JULY 22, 2017, OFFERS BLUNTLY WORDED, ACCUSATORY E-MAIL REPLY TO ME ON A CRAIGSLIST POSTING OF MINE ABOUT MY SEEKING TO MOVE INTO AN HONORABLE AUSTIN RESIDENT'S HOME OR APARTMENT AS A TENANT OR ROOMMATE

RE: REASONS FOR INVITING ME TO MOVE TO YOUR HOME/APT AS TENANT OR ROOMMATE

Greg S

To thjfk-6230476002@hous.craigslist.org


Today (Saturday, July 22, 2017) at 6:20 AM

http://austin.craigslist.org/sha/6230476002.html

"Nobody wants you. You deep state religious whack job hypocrites delivered Trump and his Nazi klan to our government.

"Enjoy Trump's Impeachment.

"By the repeat nature of your ads, clearly you've been impeached by Austin.

"Maybe you could suck (up to) fellow creep Danica Patricia Lt Gov...(obscenities omitted)...and he will hide you in...(allegedly or possibly libelous statement omitted that directly referred to a cited female person)...(an) apartment (in Austin)....

"Give it up. God is trying to teach you, but you won't evolve. Judge and hate, judge and hate. The Trump way.

"Sick."
_______
$400 / 100ft2 - REASONS FOR INVITING ME TO MOVE TO YOUR HOME/APT AS TENANT OR ROOMMATE (Austin)

--I am gainfully employed and work six days per week.
--I am honorable and tactfully honest and polite.
--I never smoke or drink any alcohol or consume any illicit drug.
--I am neither a former alcoholic nor a former illicit-drug addict.
--I am facially clean-shaven (no beard, no mustache, no goatee) and lifelong-tattoo-less.
---I am quiet, and I consistently use polite, non-profane (clean) language in my everyday conversations with others.
---My lifestyle is socially conservative: I am a longtime-celibate-by-choice single adult gentleman, and I never have any invited overnight guest or any invited late-night guest inside my own bedroom.
---I am conscientious and crime-deterrence-minded, and I do not have any criminal-conviction record.
---I am a certified direct descendant of the Rev. William Brewster, the great Puritan religious leader who served as head chaplain on the Mayflower and, later, as a leading adviser to British Governor William Bradford of the Plymouth Colony in what is now the U.S. state of Massachusetts.
---I am semi-fluent in Spanish, and I'm a former founder of a Spanish Club at Washington University in St. Louis.
---I studied French for two years in college.
---I am a former National Merit Scholar at Washington University in St. Louis.
---I am a former Salutatorian at Stephen F. Austin High School of Austin ISD in Austin, Texas.
---I am a native of Lincoln, Nebraska.
---I have a Master's Degree from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.
---I have several creative and healthy hobbies and pastimes and affinities, including: tennis, racquetball, roller-skating, hiking, healthy-foods cooking, spicy-foods dishes, quality-of-life-theme factual research pursuits and brainstorming, creative writing projects, and watching wholesome movies with moral depth to them or gentle humor to them.

THE ETERNAL QUEST FOR A SPICY, TASTY MUSTARD: ZATARAIN'S OF NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, OFFERS A DELICIOUS 'HEARTY SPICY BROWN MUSTARD' WITH ZERO FAT

Earlier this week, I purchased this product for the first time ever, and I bought the product inside a nearby Randall's chain supermarket in northwest Austin.

Advantages to this fat-free, cholesterol-free  spicy mustard that is pleasing to the palate:

---This mustard product features "finely diced onion" that adds flavor and texture.

--Ingredients label for this product also cites "brown mustard seed" and "paprika" among the interesting ingredients.

---Sodium is only 95 mg per teaspoon, or 4 percent of minimum daily allowance.

---A tasty mustard of this type can help a person to avoid consuming mayonnaise. Mayonnaise generally contains a lot of fat and cholesterol.

--The product has historic charm: it is made by a company that has been in operation in New Orleans ever since 1889.

THE LATEST IMAGINARY EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT FROM NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK:

---"Lately I've developed this intense phobia that if I'm walking near a skyscraper in Manhattan, it will suddenly collapse and fall on top of me. The New York Post article about my demise will label me as a freak. The article will bear the headline: 'New Yorker Killed by Freak Accident!'. That's my fear, anyway. But I should keep in mind that the Post headline might instead be, 'New Yorker Buried Alive', without the term 'freak accident' appearing in the headline. This is somewhat reassuring to me, to sense that I won't be labeled a freak in that type of situation."

--"I agree with you 100 percent. I think every New Yorker worries he might perish in a freak accident here, and the news media accounts will all attach the word 'freak' to their news coverage of his own death. That very thought freaks me out so much that I'm totally freaked out about it all. I take great pride in NOT being a freak, and in being totally freaked out by all the New Yorkers who ARE freaks!"

---"One certainty about being a New Yorker is that everywhere I go here, a significant percentage of the other residents of this city will label me as a 'freak'. It's a bit like having a Freak Fan Club, wherever I go in the Big Apple."

---"I'm very surprised we don't have a 'History of Freak Accidents' history museum and research archives here in New York. It would definitely attract millions of tourists every year, and it would bring in lots of tourism dollars for our entire city."

--"Another possibility is that we could get a 'History of Human Freaks' museum and archives here in New York. Among the famous freaks of world history would be Rasputin. I believe he was close to 7 feet tall, and he definitely freaked out lots of Russians. And Mayor La Guardia might possibly qualify for an exhibit in this type of museum, since he was obviously the shortest mayor we have ever had. He was freakishly short, it seems fair to say. I'm amazed he got elected, since it must have been very difficult for him to reach high enough up to shake hands with the voters during the mayoral campaign."

--"I was treated like a freak so much during my childhood here that whenever my family took me to the Barnum and Bailey circus in town, I would always ask to see the freak midgets among the circus performers. I found it very reassuring to look at them up close and sense that I was myself LESS freakish than they themselves were."

---"There are days when I feel this inexplicable kinship toward everyone else in New York who also works on the 20th floor of a skyscraper. I gaze out of my own office's 20th-story window and try to imagine shaking hands with the 20th-floor occupants in the skyscraper I see that's about 50 yards from my own office building."

--"Maybe you should organize a social club for New Yorkers who work on the 20th floor of an office building here. You could call it the 20th Floor Club, and you could hold your monthly meetings on the 20th floor of a building where civic groups are allowed to meet."

---"My husband, Harold, has a hobby of collecting audiotapes and videotapes of each and every 'State of the City'-type address that each mayor of New York has delivered in the last 75 years. Harold loves to watch those videotapes over and over again, since they bring tears to his eyes, especially the early 1970s speech in which a mayor famously announced that New York City was bankrupt."

---"Personally, I would love to find a museum or special library here with a full audiotapes and videotapes collection that highlight each of the greatest, and the worst, speeches about the Big Apple that mayors of New York have delivered in the most recent 100-year period."

--"I always hate it when I'm politely waiting for a subway only to have some wise guy about 15 feet away from me point toward me and loudly declare to his relative standing beside him, 'That's a prime example of why I'm very sure the overall caliber of our city's residents has declined a lot in recent years!"

--"You are very wrong if you think you are the only New Yorker who gets insulted on a daily basis. The other day I was minding my own business waiting for a subway train, when I suddenly see this well-dressed college freshman sneering as he points toward me from 20 feet away. 'Just another example of the many Undesirables our city is notorious for,' the college freshman loudly declares to his teenage male friend."

--"Maybe there's a need for an Insulted New Yorkers Association. We could get together each month and trade stories about how we were each very badly and very rudely insulted in the most recent 30-day period. Every meeting, the New Yorker with the best story about being insulted would get a special award, such as a free meal at a local restaurant where the waiters specialize in verbally assaulting their customers."

--"To me, you cannot survive here unless you have mastered the art of the clever rejoinder. Otherwise, you will be completely destroyed by all the put-downs you get here. I plan to contact the superintendent of the public schools here and ask that each public school teach elementary-school children how to respond with clever one-liners after they get verbally abused by another New Yorker. The only disadvantage I can foresee to that type of training in the public schools is that clever replies could result in a punch in their face by the New Yorker who had verbally abused them."

--"I have always wondered whether any of the Yankees fans who catch a baseball in the stands with their raw hands ever ends up in the emergency room from getting his hand broken. To me, that would be a very sad story for 'The Post' to cover, if they had a reporter ready to interview each baseball fan seconds after he was injured from catching a baseball with his raw hands in Yankee Stadium."

--"I think it would be hilariously funny if some romantic couple here asked to have their wedding inside a subway car, with that ceremony featuring a simulation of what it's like to get mugged on the subway. To me, it makes good sense to start off your marriage with a satirical sketch of that type."

AN ASSURANCE TO HONORABLE NON-DRINKERS ABOUT A TASTY MUSTARD PRODUCT FROM NEW YORK FEATURING WHITE WINE AS A CITED INGREDIENT:

As the only current member of the quality-of-life-minded and non-Christian Progressive Prohibitionist Religion, I agree that alcohol as an ingredient can enhance the flavor of prepared dishes. 

I offer this outlook with the clear understanding and expectation that the alcohol evaporates during the cooking process.

However, I recently purchased a tasty Boar's Head-brand "All Natural(,) Delicatessen Style" 9.5-ounce bottle of mustard that raised a slightly different issue.

This bottle of mustard distributed by the Brunckhorst Company of New York City, New York, features actual "white wine" among that mustard's ingredients.

This implies that the white wine apparently was not evaporated in its entirety through commercial preparation of that brand of mustard.

To any non-drinker or teetotaler who is worried that consumption of this particular brand of mustard might compromise their own moral or religious beliefs, or might somehow make them appear "tipsy", I would like to point out that:

---the wine is cited as the very last item in the ingredients list on the back of this bottle of mustard. This implies that the total amount of white wine present in this mustard is only minimal.

--There appears to be no risk of any type that anyone eating this mustard would somehow "get drunk" or otherwise be "under the influence of alcohol" or somehow lose their own sense of balance or sustain any impairment to their own ability to drive a motor vehicle or operate a machine, or would damage their own liver in any way from consumption of that very, very minimal amount of white wine.

--The other ingredients in this jar of mustard include: vinegar, "select mustard seeds", water, salt, horseradish, and "spices". These alcohol-free ingredients are possibly dominant in the overall flavor of this brand of mustard.