THOSE EVER-QUOTABLE NEW YORKERS: WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN SAYING TODAY, HAD I BEEN THERE AT THE TIME TO JOT DOWN NOTES WHILE EAVESDROPPING ON THEIR CONVERSATION

 

---"I am glad I'm not a lexicographer. The minute Donald Trump leaves elective office, all the dictionary editors in the U.S. will be holding staff meetings to attempt to decide which new words referring to Trump or coined by Trump should be included in the next edition of their dictionary. It should lead to lots of heated arguments among staff members at dictionary-publishing companies here!"

--"The minute that new edition of their dictionary gets issued and Donald Trump as ex-President has the chance to review that dictionary and find his name in five different new entries there, he'll immediately do a tweet about this proof he's found that his influence on American political scene has been as grand and breath-taking as Mount Rushmore, which again raises the question of why he isn't honored there yet, as his tweet will of course point out."

---"I hate having to cross out the names of people who suddenly died on me after I had taken the time to put their name and address and phone number in my personal address book inside my condo unit. What I'm doing to save time during this pandemic is that I'll place the letter 'P' right before the entry for that individual, in order to remind myself that they died suddenly and unexpectedly from COVID-19. The 'P' stands for 'Pandemic'----it's my way of reminding myself not to send them any more Christmas cards. The letter 'P' before their entry spares me from having to cross out the entire entry for a friend or acquaintance of mine in my address book, which would have damaged the aesthetic appeal of my address book as I turn the pages."

---"I finally came up with an idea for a best-selling non-fiction book that I'm sure 'The New York Times' will want to publish. It will be an anthology of the best eulogies written and delivered by members of the clergy and others in honor of individuals who had died from COVID-19. All I need is a catchy title for my book, something like: 'Here Today, Gone Tomorrow: Eulogies In Honor of the COVID-Stricken.' That should grab book buyers' attention when they're in the book store. But this assumes anyone is going to enter a bookstore during this medical crisis. Maybe they can order my book online, to avoid any risk of getting infected from buying my book."

--"Personally, I wish the Washington Redskins had kept their name, and had publicly pledged instead to donate 0.5 percent of their net profits each year toward financing a treatment program for American Indians who are addicted to marijuana or some other illicit drug, or who are addicted to alcohol or to gambling or to tobacco products. If I were American-Indian, and I'm not, I have would have voted for that option instead. I think it's fun to embrace the variety of creative ways in which American popular culture promotes a wide array of ethnic and racial heritages in our country. The Washington Redskins put American Indians on the map, a point that many Americans have completely overlooked. Their official name also gave headline writers for newspapers opportunities for writing witty headlines like 'Redskins Scalp Visiting Team'. It would brighten your day to see the latest clever play on words relating to the American Indian theme when you checked the sports pages of 'The Washington Post'. I never felt I was laughing AT American Indians when I read those headlines about the Redskins. I was laughing WITH THEM, NOT AT THEM."