Thursday, December 10, 2020

OVERHEARD AGAIN IN NEW YORK CITY: A SEMI-FICTIONAL VICARIOUS EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT FROM THIS WEEK

---"My only relationship with books these days is strictly online. I'm completely electronic that way, which saves trees. The disadvantage is if I host a party everyone wants to see what I have on my bookshelf. The books on display were all before I made the conversion to online, so I feel a bit awkward trying to explain why I come across as half-literate from my bookshelf."

--"I don't know of anyone in this city who doesn't study the host's bookshelf when they attend a party. I think all of us are trying to figure out if we can glean any insights about the host from the books they have on display."

---"Maybe I could figure out a way to display an online bookshelf that highlights the titles I've read online whenever I host a party. I may have to hire a consultant to help me figure out how to highlight my online reading feats at parties I host."

---"The Facebook posts I see these days don't show anyone holding a book. I find that very disturbing. Is it bibliophobia that has swept our entire city?"

---"It's more photogenic to be beaming into a camera and holding a tennis racquet. The Facebook genre seems to favor poses that look dynamic and full of exuberance. It's hard to read a book while looking super-energetic and very smiley at the same time."

---"I wish I could find a magazine for apartment tenants that offers guidance on how to present your bookshelf as effectively as possible whenever a new acquaintance or associate enters your unit. Everything you do here, you have to be very strategic about it. I don't have a bookshelf strategy yet, but I'm sure I will after I study a magazine article on that subject."

---"One of the reasons I don't have a sign on display that says 'Home Sweet Home' is that I'm very anti-sugar these days. Sugar is pre-diabetes. Sugar is diabetes. The word 'sweet' makes me think of sugar. I need to find a slogan for my home that conveys a sense of hearth without any hint of sugariness to the message."

---"I keep having nightmares during my sleep in which the word 'Nadir' appears before my eyes as I attempt to figure out whether Manhattan is on the decline or not.  'Nadir' is a favorite word of the Times, so maybe it's a sign of sophistication that I'm seeing that word in my dreams. But I also know that 'nadir' means a low point. Maybe the question should be: Have we reached our lowest possible point yet, in which case maybe we should celebrate that it can't get any lower than it was yesterday, at some point."

--"Maybe you should throw a party with a motif such as 'At Least We Weren't Flooded by the Hudson River' as the basis for celebration."

---"Not remembering the number of the public school you graduated from here may be a sign of Alzheimer's."

---"Or maybe it's just pre-Alzheimer's and you will find a fabulous physician who is sure you have reversible pre-Alzheimer's if you just follow his orders for the next 12-month period."

---"A lot of people have a mental block against numbers. Your not remembering the number of your public school in Manhattan only shows you don't enjoy numbers games. There's nothing pre-Alzheimer's about it, so you don't need to worry."

--"I don't know anyone here who isn't worrying about something. We worry openly and get called neurotic for it, or we worry silently and secretly and get called sly and mysterious for it. Either way, someone is always there to identify our worrying in pathological terms."
















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