Tuesday, October 13, 2020

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF NEW YORKERS: AN IMAGINARY, SEMI-FICTITIOUS ACCOUNT OF QUOTABLE MOMENTS IN MANHATTAN THIS WEEK

 

---"What I dread the most about Donald Trump's Presidency is that for decades after this the news media and historians will be regurgitating to our entire nation everything notorious and sinister that Donald Trump did to the American people and the Office of the Presidency during his four years of tyranny. It's like we'll all be getting whipped on a year-round and multi-decade basis for having failed to lawfully remove Trump from the Presidency through a two-thirds majority in the Senate---which we didn't get and we'll all be getting spanked and scolded and blamed and chastized for decades because only one Republican Senator I can recall agreed with us to have Trump removed from office. That was Mitt Romney."

---"I don't understand how Donald Trump was cured of pneumonia so quickly. I thought I read that he had contracted pneumonia, too---and that can also be very contagious."

---"Maybe you should send a thank-you card to Mitt Romney for having been the only Republican Senator who was willing to have President Trump removed from office."

---"To me, the many future years of foreign nations chastizing us for having somehow been responsible for 'the Rise of Donald Trump' is a scenario I also dread. If I travel to a foreign country in 2023, they will ask me why I didn't do more to persuade the Republicans in the U.S. Senate to have Trump removed from office."

---"One book we don't have to worry about ever getting published is a book with a title like 'The Wit and Wisdom of Donald Trump'. With serious presidents of prior decades, we could at least find a book like that and learn from the President's substantive insights. I always savor that quote from President Lyndon Johnson, that 'The future of the world lies in Asia'. With Donald Trump, though, it's like he has no keen insights I could possibly claim to cherish or even want to remember."

---"One of the things about Donald Trump that stands out for me is that he has no middle initial I ever seem to remember. With serious presidents we had before Donald somehow occupied the White House, we would almost always savor their middle initial and middle name. Lyndon Baines Johnson was an example of a President with a substantive, serious agenda. They called him the Education President, and everyone knew he had three names. They called him 'LBJ' in honor of each of those three names. But absolutely no one ever says 'DT', let alone 'DRT' or 'DLT' in the case of Donald Trump, had his middle name been 'Robert' or 'Leonard', and I have no idea which of those is correct, just a guess on my part. I think we avoid citing a middle initial or middle name with Donald because no one wants to add to his delusions of grandeur problem that was probably the psychological infirmity of his that stands out the most."

--"I predict that after Donald Trump finally gets ousted by the voters, there be a public debate held in which a panel of social psychologists and other psychologists will each attempt to identify the psychological malaise most applicable to Donald's style as President."

--"Personally, I liked the middle name 'Delano' of our very own Franklin, as I like to call him. No other president has had a middle name of Delano. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a truly great New Yorker who didn't make me feel ashamed to be from the same state as himself."

---"I'm sure Franklin Delano Roosevelt is turning over in his grave from news he's getting up there about the daily scandals that Donald Trump is guilty of while somehow being permitted by the U.S. Congress to continue occupying the White House as our titular Head of State. He's not our leader; he's our TITULAR leader, that's all it is until he finally get replaced by a real political leader."

---"I just Googled Calvin Coolidge and it turns out it was his first name that everyone forgets. His first name was John, his middle name was Calvin, and he was a native of Vermont. If you had asked me to state the name of a U.S. President born in Vermont, I would have completely failed that type of question on 'Jeopardy.'"

---"What I predict will happen is that social psychologists and sociologists all over the world will be writing dozens of best-selling books that attempt to explain to the world why American society became so tragically mired in corruption and collective insanity for four straight years of Donald Trump's Presidency.  Those books will be a huge threat to my own personal reputation whenever I travel as a businessman in foreign countries. I will have to show proof to everyone in Europe that I did NOT vote for Donald Trump, and that I DID urge my U.S. senator in writing to vote to have Donald Trump removed from office. If I can't show proof of both of those points, I may be denied all kinds of business deals in the post-Trump period of full international scrutiny of the outrageous presidential disaster named Donald Trump that compromised all Americans who failed to protest the daily injury he inflicted on our nation's reputation."

--"When you travel to foreign nations in 2021, you can always wear a T-shirt that declares, 'Please Don't Blame Me. I Voted for Joe Biden!' wherever you go in Europe and Asia. That should help you in your career pursuits and the hospitality you get as an American citizen abroad."

---"I need to find out if the election officials here in Manhattan will let me photograph my completed ballot this month, so I can show proof in the Nuremberg-style trials focused on Donald Trump's Presidency that will inevitably be occurring in the near future. If it is legal for me to photograph my completed ballot when I vote early in the Presidential Election, I can show that credential on my behalf to the investigators who will inevitably be asking why so many Americans were guilty of being accomplices to Trump's very sinister and tyrannical style in the White House."

---"I cannot find the appetite to dine in any of the restaurants of Manhattan that Donald Trump liked the best. To even think of entering one of Donald's favorite hang-out spots of Manhattan makes me want to vomit."

--"I need to find out which type of pet dog Donald Trump and his wife had during their years in the White House. I will make a point of urging all my friends to NOT adopt any dog for their own household that resembles Donald Trump's pet dog in any way. This is one way to prove in the post-Trump years that you yourself are NOT currently and NEVER were an associate of Donald Trump."

--"You know that as soon as Donald Trump loses the election, his wife is going to ask him for a divorce. That may be what Donald Trump fears the most: After he is kicked out of the White House, his wife will kick him out of her own life by filing for divorce. That divorce will lead to additional scandal news, since Donald Trump is heavily in debt and it's not clear that he could afford to pay his former wife the multi-million-dollar divorce settlement she will be asking for."

---"I predict that each of the states that give their electoral votes to Donald Trump are going to be states that face many years of reprisals from the rest of American society. If I learn that a state voted for Trump, I will want to exclude that state from my itinerary in my leisuretime traveling. It may take me 20 years before I am able to even consider visiting that Trump-Fascism Sympathizer state in the future, much less living there."









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