Those hosting social parties or dinner parties where alcohol will be consumed by most of the invited guests can greatly benefit from including civil and law-aiding, non-stalking, privacy-respectful nondrinkers (teetotalers) in their next party invitation list.
The nondrinker on your party list as an invited guest at your next social party offers you the following advantages over your alcohol-consuming party guests:
(1) The nondrinker is less likely to embarrass yourself by making a lewd or crassly vulgar comment.
(2) The sober nondrinker is more likely to provide a reliable and calm and factually detailed as well as accurate 911 emergency phone call report to the local police department if the social party turns into a brawl or fist-fight for which a criminal-law complaint is needed.
(3) The nondrinker is far less likely to physically force himself on or rape or attempt to rape or sexually assault any other party guest at your party.
(4) The nondrinker can save you lots of money. He will never pursue any conduct that compels you to leave the party site in the middle of your party in order to purchase additional bottles of alcohol that you can then offer your alcohol-crazed guests.
(5) The sober nondrinker is more likely to add variety to the conversation topics at your party. He will do that because the nondrinker is far less likely at your party to talk about any of the following "most frequently discussed topics" of alcohol-party conversations:
Sex organs and who most recently elicited a stiffening or itchy sensation in one's own cited sex organ; the last occasion in which the male speaker can recall having "gotten laid" and what might account for his cited "drought" in that way; the asserted length of one's own male organ; female breast sizes; memorable orgasms; which female orifice offered the very "best fit" during the sex act that the male speaker has himself encountered thus far in his own romantic life; which women are most likely to say "yes" to any man who wants to go "all the way" with her; why the male speaker often compares himself to either Don Juan or Casanova, and he is not sure which of the two is the most like himself though he plans to read biographies on each in order to be completely sure on that point; masturbation and favorite masturbation fantasies; the cited name of the one Hollywood star whom the male party guest would most like to have a "hot date" with and "go all the way with", though he probably would not want her as a girlfriend or spouse, the male speaker hastens to add; X-rated movies and porno movie stars; X-rated party jokes; coitus interruptus experiences of his that the male party guest now regards as having been fine material for wonderfully entertaining anecdotes he can share with everyone in elaborate detail, this clearly being a naughty topic of keen interest to everyone; the male speaker's all-time favorite experience inside a whorehouse or house of prostitution; everything you always wanted to know about sex and sexuality, but were presumably afraid to ask; romantic trysts, sexual "conquests", one-night stands, illicit affairs, and recent gleeful sex orgies he has attended, etc.
(4) The nondrinker can help protect the personal safety of your other party guests. He can do that by kindly agreeing to serve as a sober "designated driver" for guests of yours who consume alcohol at your party.
(5) The nondrinker is far less likely to grab or slap or embrace or pinch or physically strike or pounce on yourself or any of your other party guests.
(6) The nondrinker is far more likely to volunteer to help you clean up after your social party has ended.
(7) The nondrinker is more likely to successfully perform cardiopulmonary rescuscitation on any party guest who falls unconscious or suffers a heart attack during your party.
(8) The sober nondrinker is more likely to help promptly clean up any vomit that any of your alcohol-consuming guests leave in your bathroom or hallway leading to your bathroom.
(9) The nondrinker is less likely to bring marijuana with him or any other illicit drug with him to your party. This is so because a significantly lower percentage of the nondrinkers consume marijuana or some other illicit drug.
(10) The nondrinker is more likely to later recall for you what happened at your party. By contrast, most of the other party guests will be waking up the next morning with hangovers and unable to recall for you what anyone said or did at your party.
(11) The nondrinker is more likely to take first-rate in-focus photographs of the other party guests, should you wish to have some designated guest at your party take numerous photographs there that you can then add to your personal scrapbook or your personal online website.
(12) The sober nondrinker is less likely to make any racist-sounding comment or verbalize a racist-sounding "joke" that would offend or enrage or infuriate another party guest at your party.
(13) The sober nondrinker is less likely to ask you if he can "pass out" on or stay overnight on one of your beds or sofas or couches in your private residence.
()4) The sober nondrinker is less likely to force you to call a taxi service to drive him home in your role as party host.
(15) The sober nondrinker is less likely to put you in the awkward position of feeling "like a baby-sitter, since everyone around me here at my party is acting up like a mischievous child!"
(16) The sober nondrinker is less likely to put you in the awkward position of wondering whether the motif for your Polynesian-theme party should have instead been "50 Ways to Get a Hangover."
(17) The sober nondrinker is less likely to put you in the awkward position of having to ask him during your party whether he has considered joining an Alcoholics Anonymous group?
(18) The sober nondrinker is less likely to fault you at your party for not offering any wine that was produced by bare-footed monks in France.
(19) The sober nondrinker is less likely to strip naked and pursue a delirious spree of streaking at your party site.
(20) The sober nondrinker is less likely to approach other party guests at your party and ask them to please show him each of their most intimate tattoos that are situated below their waistline.
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