Monday, December 31, 2018

A NEW YEAR'S EVE SEMI-FICTIONAL EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT FROM NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, IN THE YEAR 2018, AS IMAGINED BY A FORMER RESIDENT OF BOSTON CURRENTLY RESIDING IN TEXAS



---"I find it ironic that you are proposing a toast featuring a glass of vodka that was produced in Russia. Are we celebrating Russian infiltration of the American political system as we ponder which additional evidence of Russian meddling in American society will occur in the New Year?"

---"I think we should celebrate the New Year by establishing a non-profit organization that publicly honors and rewards each of the for-profit corporations in the United States that strive the most diligently to protect the global environment and help reverse the Global Warming Effect. If you were to survey New Yorkers on the street, probably 8 out of 10 would not know which corporations deserve praise for being Friends to the Environment."

--"I find it very frustrating that I have not heard the Democrats offer any convincing public-policy counterplan to 'The Wall' as our nation's way of preventing illegal emigration into the U.S. by Latin Americans. What are the alternatives to the Wall that might be less costly and more successful?"

---"I have heard that the chicken tamale is quite popular among Hispanics during the Holiday Season, but why not make it a turkey tamale instead? Turkey is lower in saturated fats and higher in protein than chicken is. So why can't we find a turkey tamale anywhere in New York, when it makes perfect sense to eat one?"

---"I don't know of any fast-food restaurant chain other than 'Boston Market' that adequately promotes turkey. Maybe I should find the phone number for the American Turkey Council, or whatever that organization is called, in order to complain about the anti-turkey bias by the American restaurant industry."

--"I'm one New Yorker who would welcome turkey pizza, but I don't recall seeing that in any of the pizzerias of my neighborhood. Maybe I should do a Google search in which I pose the question, 'Which pizzerias here in New York offer turkey pizza on their menu?'"


---"Maybe we could find a millionaire here in New York to sponsor a contest in which leading chefs from Italy are each invited to develop a new Italian-style culinary dish featuring turkey as a leading ingredient. This might help to convince our city's Italian-Americans to eat more turkey. The heart-attack rate among Italian-Americans could decline dramatically if they ate more turkey dishes."

---"I procrastinated all December on writing my New Year's resolutions, so it's obvious that one of my resolutions when I finally get around to writing them will be to procrastinate less often than I did in 2018."

---"Maybe there's a need for a new book here that publicizes real-life cases of honorable New Year's resolutions that Americans actually did achieve. This would serve as an antidote to the cynicism that so many New Yorkers have toward New Year's Resolutions. 'You make them, then you break them,' so many will say with a smirk on their face. A book about New Year's Resolutions that are actually achieved would be a feel-good book that 'Reader's Digest' editors might like quite a bit. 'Reader's Digest' loves optimism, tangible cases of forward progress, and happy endings."

---"To me, the most tragic aspect of Russian society is that they have no place for dissent in their country. If you disagree, you get poisoned to death. That is Putin's warning to all Russians. Russia has an urgent need for a museum or research library in that nation that highlights or studies the role of dissent in development of responsible and innovative policies by a nation."

---"If Russia were more like Sweden in welcoming responsible and civilly-stated dissent, the entire world would benefit. Russia would become more peace-loving and harmonious with democratic nations such as the U.S."

---"It is hard to explain why the Russian psyche is somehow incapable of embracing dissent. The Swedish devotion to making full use of dissenting opinions is one of the reasons why Sweden is a much more resourceful nation than Russia is."


--"The fact that the Politburo is not currently sponsoring a study to identify new ways in which Russian Government could politely make more effective use of dissenting opinions, tells you a lot about their style of government. The concept of co-leadership is alien to Vladimir Putin. He must be the all-controlling leader, as he sees it, and he is unwilling to invite other Russians to play a play a leadership role of their own that offers a vision and style differing from his own."

---"I wish I could remember the most optimistic play written by Shakespeare. I keep recalling that essay by that famous Irish playwright who stated that Shakespeare was too pessimistic in his plays. Maybe if I could study the most optimistic play ever written by Shakespeare, I wouldn't be so haunted by George Bernard Shaw's warning about Shakespeare being too bleak. The last thing our world needs is more pessimism and despair!"

---"Maybe we should sponsor a George Bernard Shaw Theater Festival here, in order to celebrate his more optimistic vision. Or is there already a George Bernard Shaw Theater Festival tradition here?"

---"As much as I admire Ireland, when I imagine actually living there I don't know what I would eat. No turkey, I don't believe, and here in the States I eat turkey quite frequently. Maybe I could establish an Turkey Import House business in Dublin and hope that Irish tastebuds would become more receptive to turkey with time. But this is all based on the assumption I can relocate to Dublin, even though I don't speak a word of Gaelic."

---"You mention Putin, yet I myself don't know who the leading expert on Vladimir Putin is in American academia. To me, that Expert on Putin should be getting a lot more public recognition in the American news media than they currently are getting. We need to know exactly why Putin pursues one policy or another, and what influences him in his leadership style. For instance, what was Putin's father or mother like? I don't recall seeing any feature story in The Times that profiled the father and mother of Putin and Putin's childhood, which might offer Americans invaluable insight about who he is today."

---"I wish President Trump would put more emphasis on recycling. For instance, he could give a televised State of the Union address warning that the Russians appear to be recycling items such as glass and aluminum at a higher rate than Americans do. Trump could then declare in that speech that it's very urgent that American society catch up with the Russians in that category. Inadequate participation in recycling by Americans is one of the worst messages our country offers to the entire world. It's disastrous, in fact, from a public-relations standpoint. 'American society wastes natural resources at a higher rate than any other nation', people all over the world are understandably complaining on a year-round basis."


---"One book project that I believe could result in a prize-winning documentary movie would profile the life stories of several of the real-life cases of individuals through the decades who each chose to take a fatal flying leap from the Empire State Building. Each of those mini-biographies, as they might be called, could explore what led to the point at which that individual went insane or deranged and committed suicide in a very shockingly public manner."

---"I wish I had the statistics on the percentage of our city's high school students who have been willing to make at least one 911 call to NYPD at some point during their high-school years. I realize that they often fear violent reprisals from other teenagers if they make a phone call of that type. But maybe there's a good response to that concern. If so, NYPD could hire a 'Public High Schools Liaison' who gives a videotaped speech explaining why high school students in New York are perfectly safe if they call 911 in order to report possible crime evidence or a medical emergency they had or observed or heard about."

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