Thursday, April 23, 2009

Obama Scholar Interviewed

I recently conducted a hypothetical or imaginary interview with a leading Obamologist, a Professor of Obama Studies, about the Obama Presidency.
The following is a transcript of that interview:

OBAMOLOGIST: "I continue to hope that increasingly we will come to view President Obama as a great Ideas Man in the White House."

JKM: "Does your observation suggest that you don't currently regard President Obama as a great Ideas Man?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "I would hate to offend the President by making a blunt comment of that type. After all, my career is devoted to studying President Obama's peformance in office. I would lose valuable contacts in the White House if I said 'yes' to your question."

JKM: "Can you name some good ideas that you associate with President Obama?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "His support for high-speed passenger train service is a good idea for our country. I might even rate it as a great idea, at some future point."

JKM: "Is that good, and potentially great, idea by President Obama accompanied by a strong devotion on his part to establishment and enhancement of passenger-train rail transit systems providing rail service exclusively within a metro area?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "You have just raised an awkward point, since it's obvious that even if you could travel from Dallas, Texas, to Houston, Texas, by bullet train, you'd find yourself rather helpless in Houston at that point. The light-rail transit system in Houston is minimal to the point of laughable."

JKM: "As a leading Obamologist, can you recall any speech by President Obama in which he has actually cited the American cities where he would assign highest priority for federal sponsorship of extensive rail transit systems within that city or metro area?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "I personally cannot, but I remain hopeful that our very popular President will publicize a list of the 20 American cities he would like to see getting top priority for that type of federal funding."

JKM: "And what about our President's mass-transportation message to rural Americans?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "Once again, as an Obama scholar I have yet to find an opportunity to congratulate him on his great ideas in this area."

JKM: "Is Obama a good Ideas Man, at least, for rural residents seeking mass-transportation services?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "Obama may well be willing to settle for 'good' in that category. Possibly the federal government will be financing some studies aimed at identifying the mass-transportation potential of small towns and medium-sized towns. Personally, I would love to see a wind-powered-and-solar-powered People Pusher in our small towns."

JKM: "You have just brought up the subject of pushers, and that raises another important question. Do you think it would be a great idea, or merely a good idea, for President Obama to remind everyone that he will NOT be willing to host any drug dealer or drug pusher, if you will, anywhere on the grounds of the White House at any time during his term of office."

OBAMOLOGIST: "That would qualify as a Great Idea. I think the American people will respect President Obama a lot more if he establishes a firm and unequivocal anti-pusher policy in his White House."

JKM: "Are you suggesting that the Welcome Mat placed in front of the Obama White House should declare, 'Cocaine Dealers Not Welcome Here'?"

OBAMOLOGIST: "If it would help to prevent yet another cocaine scandal in D.C., then I think President Obama should get credited with a 'Great Idea' for coming up with a courageous welcome mat wording of that type."

JKM: "But might there be a risk that the negative tone of that welcome mat message could seem inhospitable to a visiting dignitary from a foreign nation who insists that he himself never never snuffs, nor does he ever snort, for that matter."

OBAMOLOGIST: "Only future historians will know for sure whether that welcome mat message from President Obama, the one that everyone is expecting him to offer in the very near future, will be rated by those historians as a Great Idea or merely a Good Idea from President Obama."

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