WHAT I LOOK FORWARD TO THE MOST ABOUT MY PLANNED MOVE TO SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, FROM AUSTIN, TEXAS

 

(1) I have been told that Mormons oppose thought-control projects. It is obvious that in Austin, Texas, by contrast, the religious groups and atheist groups that support thought-control projects are either over-represented or overly influential.

(2) I will only rarely be looking at vomit. The per-capita incidence of binge drinking in Salt Lake City, Utah, is much lower than in Austin, Texas.

(3) The percentage of residents who exhibit tattoos emblazoned on their own body that praise "The Devil" or "Satan" or that feature an image of a human skull will be much lower than in Austin, Texas.

(4) It will be truly wonderful to get through an entire 24-hour period on a frequent basis in Salt Lake City without my being subjected to conversations within earshot of me in which someone states the "F" word or the "N" word or someone states "I'll kill you" or "I'll kill him" or "I'll kill her" or someone refers to the type of gun or knife they either have or  plan to use in their foreseeable future.

(5) The chances are greater that the private attorney I consult in Salt Lake City will NOT state to me, as State Bar of Texas member first-rate attorney John F. Campbell did during a one-to-one meeting I had with him in 1997 or 1998 inside his law office in central Austin: "If the continuous anonymous verbalized communications you (client John Kevin McMillan) describe to be are in fact occurring, that's all the evidence I as an attorney need that someone is trying to kill you, John (Kevin McMillan)!" I feel confident about the absence of any such implicit or explicit death threats to me in Salt Lake City, Utah, because the residents of that state-capital city will of course be much more respectful toward my own privacy rights than the residents of the state-capital city for Texas have been.

(6) It will be very enjoyable to live in an American city where the percentage of residents who are addicted to tobacco is only minimal compared to Austin; the percentage of residents who are addicted to marijuana is only minimal compared to Austin; the percentage of residents who are addicted to cocaine is only minimal compared to Austin; the percentage of residents who are publicly intoxicated is only minimal compared to Austin; and the percentage of residents who are addicted to having their own bodies tattooed extensively will be only minimal compared to Austin.

(6a) It will be sublimely pleasurable to not overhear conversations in which local residents of Salt Lake City state to one another within earshot of me that "I've got to get laid tonight" or "I'm going to get high tonight".

(7) It will be very smile-inducing to sense that the percentage of residents in Salt Lake City who have ever attempted to commit suicide is only minimal compared to Austin.

(8) It will be truly delightful to sense that the percentage of teenage girls sustaining unwanted pregnancies is much lower than in Austin, Texas.

(9) It will be truly great to sense that a much higher percentage of the residents of Salt Lake City, Utah, strongly oppose home-invasion crimes than do the residents of  Austin, Texas.

(10) It will very reassuring to sense in Salt Lake City, Utah, that the percentage of residents who actually support law-enforcement is far higher than in Austin, Texas.

(11) It will be very, very pleasant not to be subjected to any societal pressure in Salt Lake City, to myself ever at any time "participate" in or be "subjected to" any form of "inter-racial dating" or "inter-racial sexual contact" or "inter-racial human trafficking", etc.  Salt Lake City is NOT Anglo-phobic, nor is Salt Lake City unfair toward those Anglo persons (myself among them) whose ancestry is exclusively northern European. Nor is Salt Lake City phobic toward Anglo-Saxon persons (myself among them) who prefer to socialize with other Anglo-Saxon persons.

(12) It will be truly wonderful to live in a city in Utah, Salt Lake, where respect toward mutual-consent platonic relationships and the level of appreciation for the noble role of platonic love in society is much greater than it is in Austin, Texas.

(13) It will be very pleasant to live in a city (Salt Lake) where a higher percentage of all of the residents exhibit adequate awareness about myself being consistently law-abiding and honest and dependably civil and very capable of platonic politeness toward anyone whom I agree to associate with.