---"It might be a mistake to assume that if I eat organic foods every day of the year, I will live to age 120. From what I understand, 110 is the most that any of us can hope to attain, regardless of whether we're eating organic foods that magically bless us with the best possible medical health and vitality."
---"I don't know of any recent studies which found that those who pursue primarily-organic-foods dietary lifestyles are twice as likely to reach age 110 than New Yorkers who pursue non-organic foods diets."
---"If you live to age 120, that gives you an extra 10 years to finish writing your memoirs. So I recommend that you do something first, in order to have something to write about at age 110. Maybe if you jotted down what you believe your leading accomplishments have been so far, this might boost your morale as you prepare to begin writing your book at age 110."
---"I'm terrified by the prospect of suddenly becoming famous here. Look what happened to John Lennon here in New York. Famous New Yorkers are the first ones that would-be assassins seek to destroy. Maybe I should strive for being well-liked by my neighbors, in lieu of having citywide fame. This would help increase my chances of enjoying a full natural longevity."
---"I don't blame the British who hate New York for what we did to John Lennon. My only response is that I should not be included in that particular 'we' statement. I had no role of any type in the life of Lennon's assassin, and I don't even own a gun. Maybe I should add that every year on John Lennon's birthday, I attend an event in his honor. This might help to reassure the British when they accuse me of having been a conspirator in the assassination plot."
--"If I ever travel to England and visit the Beatles Museum there, when I sign the guest book I will refrain from citing New York City as the place I'm from. I don't want to trigger any additional hatred of New Yorkers. I think I might cite 'Melville, New York' as the place where I'm from. I don't believe that Melville was implicated in Lennon's assassination. So there's no risk of irking an Englishman if I sign the guest book that way. But I hate to lie---so this will be quite a stressful dilemma for me when I visit England."
---"Maybe I should visit the New York Public Library and listen to taped oral-history interviews with 110-year-old residents of this city. It would be interesting to find out what they have learned by age 110. This is one way I could prepare mentally for the inevitable day when I reach age 110 and am suddenly asked for words of wisdom to offer."
--"If you interview me at age 110, I plan to mention that I recommend flossing your teeth twice a day, rather than just once, and I believe that played a big role in my having reached age 110."
---"You are so obsessed with the Centenarian Scene here in New York that maybe you should write a book profiling the trendy lifestyles of New Yorkers who are 100 or older. When you interview your subjects, you might have to use a microphone in order to have your question heard. Otherwise, you could shout out each of your questions, in order to get an answer."
---"To me, the Centenarian Scene here would make for a wonderful Hollywood movie. Each of the characters could be age 100 or older, and the action scenes could all be done in slow motion."
--"Personally, I like the idea of a Hollywood movie exploring the various obstacles in everyday life that centenarians of New York are facing. If they want to apply for a job, for instance, the employer might be reluctant to hire anyone over 100."
---"Do you know any books on the New York Times bestseller list that were written by a 110-year-old author? This is still a fair bottom-line question to ask. Just how successful as an author do you think you'll be after you blow out 110 candles on your birthday cake?"
---"If you turn 100, at least it guarantees you a meeting with the President in the White House. I don't know of any American president who would decline to meet with a Centenarian citizen of this country. It's great PR for the White House if a Centenarian is photographed shaking hands with our chief of state."
---"I wonder whether Floridian senior citizens who play shuffleboard live longer than New York senior citizens who don't play shuffleboard. Maybe Florida has a competitive edge over New York in the way of athletic activities offered to that age group."
--"I find it hard to believe that shuffleboard playing is the reason why senior citizens in Florida live longer than senior citizens in New York. How could any medical specialist claim a significant cardiovascular benefit from playing shuffleboard?"
---"You remind me of another favorite activity of senior citizens. I have never heard of any medical study indicating that senior citizens burn calories when they swing back and forth on their proverbial rocking chair on the front porch of their home. Maybe there's a need for medical research identifying whether rocking chairs are good for the cardiovascular health of senior citizens."
---"I don't recommend sitting on a rocking chair in front of your home here in New York. It would be construed by members of the criminal element as an invitation for a senior-napping, accompanied by a demand for a ransom payment. I would call it a kidnapping, but at age 80 most people wouldn't be mistaken for kids. So that's why I call it a senior-napping, at that age."
--"If you get senior-napped while making use of a rocking chair on your front porch here in New York, that would completely wipe out any medical health benefit from rocking back and forth on that chair. It could even give you a heart attack if you get senior-napped at age 80."
---"I am hoping to write an Off-Broadway play that actually gets performed, which will help to energize me and rejuvenate me when I turn age 80. Then that rejuvenation will encourage me to turn that off-Broadway play into a script for a Hollywood movie. I would love to win an Oscar for the best screenplay and to give my acceptance speech at age 82. In my speech, I would urge anyone and everyone to look upon their retirement years as a golden period for screenplay writing. That might help to inspire the Octogenarian Crowd."
---"As a Centenarian, I am still recovering from the shock of having to memorize new names for eastern European countries. I used to enjoy referring to Yugoslavia back in the 1970s, I loved the sound of that name. But these days, I have to look it up every time when I want to refer to that portion of Europe."
---"As a 100-year-old, I always enjoy telling people that my great-grandchildren are just as dear to me as my grandchildren are. It's a great honor to have both great-grandchildren and grandchildren while I'm still alive. I plan to host a nice party honoring all of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I just have to come up with a party theme, though. Maybe my party theme could be favorite hobbies. I would start by talking about hiking indoors at my Manhattan athletic club and crossword puzzles. Then I'd invite each grandchild and great-grandchild to tell me about their own favorite hobbies. We could videotape the entire party, and add that videotape to our family-heritage collection."
--"I love the idea of a Centenarian Singers or Centenarian Choir recording that promote the joy of reaching age 100 here in New York. It would take a very skilled choir director to pull it off, but I'm confident that recording could be a best-seller here."
--"The biggest change in my lifestyle as a Centenarian is that after I've have begun paying someone to read me 'The New York Times' each day in my living room. My eyesight has been failing in recent months, so now I have to rely on my designated Times reader to offer me 'All the news That's fit to print' in oral form. I pay that young lady $15 an hour to sit across from me in my living room and read to me aloud at least 10 articles from each issue. She will read out the headlines of articles, and I will give her a 'yeah' or 'nay' on whether I want to hear the text of that particular news or feature story. I am always delighted by her pleasant reading style. It's obvious she had good training by a speech teacher during her prep school days. Her reading style lends additional elegance to a publication that I is already famous for elegance. Her visits bring the entire world into my living room. On days when she is not able to visit me and read Times articles to me aloud, I feel as if I'm stuck in a very dark cave without any knowledge of the outside world. It feels very, very primitive on those days without the Oral Times, as I call it, in my living room."
--"If you interview me at age 110, I plan to mention that I recommend flossing your teeth twice a day, rather than just once, and I believe that played a big role in my having reached age 110."
---"You are so obsessed with the Centenarian Scene here in New York that maybe you should write a book profiling the trendy lifestyles of New Yorkers who are 100 or older. When you interview your subjects, you might have to use a microphone in order to have your question heard. Otherwise, you could shout out each of your questions, in order to get an answer."
---"To me, the Centenarian Scene here would make for a wonderful Hollywood movie. Each of the characters could be age 100 or older, and the action scenes could all be done in slow motion."
--"Personally, I like the idea of a Hollywood movie exploring the various obstacles in everyday life that centenarians of New York are facing. If they want to apply for a job, for instance, the employer might be reluctant to hire anyone over 100."
---"Do you know any books on the New York Times bestseller list that were written by a 110-year-old author? This is still a fair bottom-line question to ask. Just how successful as an author do you think you'll be after you blow out 110 candles on your birthday cake?"
---"If you turn 100, at least it guarantees you a meeting with the President in the White House. I don't know of any American president who would decline to meet with a Centenarian citizen of this country. It's great PR for the White House if a Centenarian is photographed shaking hands with our chief of state."
---"I wonder whether Floridian senior citizens who play shuffleboard live longer than New York senior citizens who don't play shuffleboard. Maybe Florida has a competitive edge over New York in the way of athletic activities offered to that age group."
--"I find it hard to believe that shuffleboard playing is the reason why senior citizens in Florida live longer than senior citizens in New York. How could any medical specialist claim a significant cardiovascular benefit from playing shuffleboard?"
---"You remind me of another favorite activity of senior citizens. I have never heard of any medical study indicating that senior citizens burn calories when they swing back and forth on their proverbial rocking chair on the front porch of their home. Maybe there's a need for medical research identifying whether rocking chairs are good for the cardiovascular health of senior citizens."
---"I don't recommend sitting on a rocking chair in front of your home here in New York. It would be construed by members of the criminal element as an invitation for a senior-napping, accompanied by a demand for a ransom payment. I would call it a kidnapping, but at age 80 most people wouldn't be mistaken for kids. So that's why I call it a senior-napping, at that age."
--"If you get senior-napped while making use of a rocking chair on your front porch here in New York, that would completely wipe out any medical health benefit from rocking back and forth on that chair. It could even give you a heart attack if you get senior-napped at age 80."
---"I am hoping to write an Off-Broadway play that actually gets performed, which will help to energize me and rejuvenate me when I turn age 80. Then that rejuvenation will encourage me to turn that off-Broadway play into a script for a Hollywood movie. I would love to win an Oscar for the best screenplay and to give my acceptance speech at age 82. In my speech, I would urge anyone and everyone to look upon their retirement years as a golden period for screenplay writing. That might help to inspire the Octogenarian Crowd."
---"As a Centenarian, I am still recovering from the shock of having to memorize new names for eastern European countries. I used to enjoy referring to Yugoslavia back in the 1970s, I loved the sound of that name. But these days, I have to look it up every time when I want to refer to that portion of Europe."
---"As a 100-year-old, I always enjoy telling people that my great-grandchildren are just as dear to me as my grandchildren are. It's a great honor to have both great-grandchildren and grandchildren while I'm still alive. I plan to host a nice party honoring all of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I just have to come up with a party theme, though. Maybe my party theme could be favorite hobbies. I would start by talking about hiking indoors at my Manhattan athletic club and crossword puzzles. Then I'd invite each grandchild and great-grandchild to tell me about their own favorite hobbies. We could videotape the entire party, and add that videotape to our family-heritage collection."
--"I love the idea of a Centenarian Singers or Centenarian Choir recording that promote the joy of reaching age 100 here in New York. It would take a very skilled choir director to pull it off, but I'm confident that recording could be a best-seller here."
--"The biggest change in my lifestyle as a Centenarian is that after I've have begun paying someone to read me 'The New York Times' each day in my living room. My eyesight has been failing in recent months, so now I have to rely on my designated Times reader to offer me 'All the news That's fit to print' in oral form. I pay that young lady $15 an hour to sit across from me in my living room and read to me aloud at least 10 articles from each issue. She will read out the headlines of articles, and I will give her a 'yeah' or 'nay' on whether I want to hear the text of that particular news or feature story. I am always delighted by her pleasant reading style. It's obvious she had good training by a speech teacher during her prep school days. Her reading style lends additional elegance to a publication that I is already famous for elegance. Her visits bring the entire world into my living room. On days when she is not able to visit me and read Times articles to me aloud, I feel as if I'm stuck in a very dark cave without any knowledge of the outside world. It feels very, very primitive on those days without the Oral Times, as I call it, in my living room."
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