FALL OF 2016 CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD ON THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN: AN IMAGINARY EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT

"If Trump gets elected, he and his wife will be complaining to the news media that the White House is substandard housing for them, and they want to renovate ASAP with or without Congressional authorization, since Trump will foot the bill for the entire renovation project."

"If Hillary gets elected, I hope she wears the best possible insulation-from-the-cold coat for her Inauguration. I would hate to see her repeat the disaster that President Harrison had when he contracted pneumonia from giving his Inauguration speech. He died days later, if I remember correctly from what I've read."

"I think a lot of ladies are worried that if Hillary gets elected, she'll get tipsy at the wrong time and make a very embarrassing comment that gets quoted back forever through the news media. If she is representing all American ladies in the Oval Office, she should lead a completely sober lifestyle at all times. 'Would you like some coffee or tea or fruit juice?' is what all my friends in our ladies' club agree Hillary should say to each visiting head of state. If Hillary offers them anything else, she might feel obligated to drink alcohol herself out of a sense of hospitality. And that could lead to a major scandal, particularly if any of the young gentlemen she hires as interns for her have the last name of 'Lewinsky'."

"I hope Hillary has a back-up plan if her husband dies from a heart attack in her first year as President. It would look very awkward and grim for our entire country if she were publicly identified as 'America's Widow President', so I think even Bill Clinton would want her to re-marry ASAP if he kicks the bucket. Bill might even help her to select a list of five "New First Gentleman" nominees who would each gladly say yes to Hillary days after Bill passes away."

"Come to think of it, I don't recall who our most recent Widower President was. I raise this point because we've obviously never had a Widow President. Moments like this make me wish I had a special computer data base on my home computer that would give me immediate detailed information about our most recent Widower President, and how that affected his Presidency."

"My 10-year-old daughter, Elaine, says that if Hillary gets elected, my daughter wants to be America's Second Female Head of State. My daughter will be reading everything she can about how Hillary got into the White House as President, so that my daughter can duplicate Hillary's success story. So I told my daughter, 'Please be very careful in your e-mail communications throughout your life, since they can be used against you when you run for President'. I would hate to have Elaine in a situation where her e-mails would come back to haunt her!"