--I am honest.
--I am almost never faulted by anyone for cited "dishonesty" on my part.
--In my entire life, I have never been faulted by any roommate of mine for cited direct verbalization by me of any obscenity or any profanity in any conversation with that individual.
--I am kind.
--I am conscientious and ethics-minded. If my roommate has a major medical problem, for instance, I politely ask him for an emergency contact number I can keep on file for a friend or relative of his whom I could call in the event of any hypothetical future medical emergency involving that roommate.
---I am dependably consistent about paying my share of the rent on time. As an official resident at my current apartment complex in northwest Austin ever since September 2015, with one total exception so far I have always paid my share of the rent on time.
---I do not owe any money to any previous roommate of mine.
---I am resourceful. I know how to pursue any factual research needed to address any challenge that might ever arise while rooming with someone. I have a Master's Degree in Journalism and Mass Communications from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, and that academic training honed my factual-research skills. I also have factual-research training from my prior career as a newspaper reporter.
--I am quiet. I am soft-spoken and I watch only a minimal amount of television inside my room area of my apartment unit. Also, I myself do not play any music these days inside my apartment unit.
--I take a pro-active approach to promptly addressing any major concerns or issues, such as through polite factual-minded maintenance-related requests I submit to the polite management team at my apartment complex.
--I am gainfully employed and work six days per week at very reputable restaurant-industry workplaces in Austin.
--I am generously empathetic. If I happen to hear about a cultural event or restaurant that my mutual-consent roommate might be interested in attending or patronizing based on his stated affinities, I routinely share that information with him. If I obtain coupons of my own for financial discounts at a restaurant, I sometimes ask my roommate whether he would like to have and make use of that coupon.
---I am a former official or unofficial "Big Brother" who got together with male elementary-school students in wholesome, polite involvements supervised by their legal guardian. I believe very strongly in being consistently respectful toward youths, including elementary-school students. In this way, I can be a good roommate for someone who has children who either visit them or live with them.
---I do not take advantage of seniority---whether from having lived in any particular apartment unit longer than a new roommate has, or from being older in age than my roommate. I treat my roommate with respect while living with that individual, and I am very aware that that individual in any lease agreement I might have with him or her is cited as being a "co-equal" with myself from a legal standpoint.
--I am capable of living with a female adult person or a male adult person without any impropriety on my part. I have one of the highest platonic-relationship aptitudes of any single adult Anglo gentleman in Austin. In fact, so far in the 21st Century of my own life, I have never at any time ever once on any occasion ever stated to anyone at any time that I myself sought to have or wanted to have any sexual contact or intimate physical contact with that individual.
--I am vigilant and support law-enforcement.
---I often make prompt 911 calls to the Austin Police Department to report possible crime evidence about my having just heard a car alarm going off in the parking lot near the building where I am residing as a tenant.
--I was recently certified as being "HIV-negative", and I strive to obtain fully-up-to-date medical results of that type for myself an average of every six months.
--I take a principled qualitative and normative approach to human rights issues. For instance, I strongly support the legal and human rights of law-abiding members of the HIV-negative community, with heterosexual adult men accounting for roughly 99 percent of the law-abiding and HIV-negative adult male current residents of Austin, Texas. I myself am a longtime-celibate-by-choice single adult Anglo male individual member of the law-abiding and HIV-negative community of Austin.
--I do not have any criminal-conviction record.
---I NEVER verbalize a threat to a roommate or former roommate in which I ever at any time state that I will "beat you up if you do that" or that I will "beat you up if you don't do that", or words to that effect.
---I NEVER verbalize any death threat to any roommate or former roommate.
---I NEVER enter the home or apartment or residence of any former roommate of mine without his or her specifically stated prior permission.
---I NEVER attempt to "hide" in a surreptitious manner inside the home or apartment or residence of any former roommate of mine.
---I NEVER commit any home-invasion crime that victimizes any former roommate of mine. In my entire life, in fact, I have never once committed any home-invasion crime or illegally entered the private residence of anyone, regardless of whether they were a former roommate of mine.
--I do not have any tattoo emblazoned anywhere on my own body.
---I am facially cleanshaven and do not have any beard or mustache or goatee. This enhances my ability to offer an honest and non-intimidating response, including through my facial expression, to any question posed to me by a roommate.
My clean-cut appearance also helps me to convey an honest, straightforward, law-abiding, hygienic style as a roommate.
--I am neither sadistic nor masochistic nor sadomasochistic. I have never once agreed to live with anyone after that individual informed me that he or she participates in any way in or permits the physical beating or the physical whipping of anyone, including herself or himself. I might add that in my entire adult life, I myself have never once physically beaten or physically whipped anyone on any occasion. Nor have I ever permitted any person to physically beat or physically whip myself on any occasion in my entire adult life.
--I am always sober.
--I have not consumed any quantity of drinking alcohol on any occasion this 21st century.
---I have what I regard as a creatively constructive outlook toward alcohol: I strongly support the use of wine and cooking sherry and bourbon and rum and other types of alcohol in cooking, since that can enhance the flavor of a dish, with the clear understanding that the alcohol itself will evaporate in the cooking process. This evaporation, in turns, protects a person consuming any such food from ever "getting drunk" as a result.
--I myself do not patronize any nightclubs.
--I myself have not "picked up" anyone from a bar or nightclub on any occasion in the 21st Century period of my own life.
--In my entire life, I myself have never once on any occasion ever at any time had sexual contact with anyone inside any commercial sex parlor or any commercial "bathhouse" of any type.
--I am never high on drugs.
---I have never consumed any illicit drug of any type on any occasion this 21st century.
---In my entire life, I have NEVER on any occasion ever once consumed any illicit drug other than marijuana.
---I am not at risk of having any type of "relapse" involving consumption of drinking alcohol or any illicit drug: I AM NOT A CURRENT OR FORMER OR "RECOVERING" ALCOHOLIC, AND I AM NOT A CURRENT OR FORMER OR "RECOVERING" DRUG ADDICT!
--I do not have any relationship of any type with any drug dealer.
--I never verbalize profanity of my own in my everyday conversations.
---I never verbalize the "F" word on my own initiative in any of my conversations with anyone.
--- I am completely lacking in criminal intent, or "CI", toward anyone and everyone.
---I fully and promptly honor verbalized rejections of myself any another person: I am NOT a "stalker type".
---I never lay a hand on anyone with impropriety or incivility.
---I never have any invited overnight guest of my own or any invited late-night guest of my own.
---I never this century ever at any time ever once exposed myself to any cited "roommate" of mine.
---The very least I would ever be wearing in any of the "common space" areas of my apartment unit is a robe with underwear on underneath that robe.
--- I always bolt-lock and lock the front door to my apartment unit immediately after I enter the apartment.
-- I always double-check and triple-check to make sure the front door is bolt-locked and locked before I go to bed at nighttime.
---Just before I go to bed at nighttime, I always double-check and triple-check to make sure that each of the two sliding glass doors leading into this apartment unit are locked and fully secured.
---Just before I go to bed at nighttime, I always double-check and triple-check to make sure that each of the burners to the kitchen stove are off.
---Just before I go to bed at nighttime, I always double-check and triple-check to make sure that each of the three total faucets inside this apartment unit were turned off properly and no water is dripping from any of those three faucets.
---I have a tradition of NOT touching my roommate's foods or beverages.
---I do not pull pranks on anyone.
---I do not subject anyone to any anonymous communications that violate their own privacy rights.
---I strongly support your own Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion legal rights in regard to any and all law-abiding activities or conduct you pursue that do not involve anonymous communications by yourself.
---I am semi-fluent in the Spanish language.
---I studied the French language in college for two years, and can communicate to a limited extent in the French language.
---I will ALWAYS HONOR each and every personal debt that I incurred and repay each and every loan that I borrowed. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would I myself ever agree to file for personal bankruptcy.
to be continued
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