ANOTHER EAVESROPPER'S PERSPECTIVE ON NEW YORK CITY: THE COMMENTS I MIGHT HAVE OVERHEARD AND JOTTED DOWN, HAD I BEEN THERE AT THE TIME:

 

---"You should break off your engagement to your fiance if you believe he is attending public events without a mask on."

--"I look upon the crisis as an incentive to take pride in my eyes. I can't take pride in my lips or mouth anymore, and I can't take pride in the shape of my nose anymore, so I might as well feel great about having pretty eyes. What is the alternative?"

---"You could strive to wear a designer facemask at all times. That would make the right statement about your being elegant always, even in the midst of this pandemic."

--"Have you found an online catalog of designer facemasks that are very elegant and durable and attractive? If you have, may I ask for the web address of that catalog? I need to make that a high priority---wearing only high-fashion masks at all times."

---"I am making a list each day of which people after the pandemic ends I will never invite to a party of mine. If I see them in public this month without a mask on, they get immediately removed from any and all future party lists of mine. I am very adamant about that."

---"So what is the name of your computer file in which you are listing each person you see without a mask on in public, and who you now are very determined to ban from any future cocktail parties you host here? Are you labeling that file 'banned persons list' or something else?"

---"I almost got put on my neighbor's Banned Persons List when I walked out of my apartment distracted by something and I suddenly realized I didn't have my mask on.  At that very moment, my neighbor Jessica saw me and angrily denounced me for putting her life at risk. She also said I was at risk of never being invited to any future dinner parties she hosts."

---"Maybe you should focus instead on the ones who ARE CONSISTENT about wearing their mask in your presence. Wouldn't it be simpler to create a computer file entitled 'MY POST-COVID PARTY LIST' and put each of those mask-wearing persons on that list as possible invitees?"

---"Everyone thinks I know all about Italy, since I'm Italian, but I can truthfully say I have never eaten a Sardinian dish. This proves I'm not an expert on every region of Italy. I'm absolutely and completely ignorant about Sardinian cooking."

--"I have never understood why Italian culture centers on the word 'Ciao'. My interpretation of the word 'Ciao' is that it means 'Drop Dead' in English. I have to call the Romance Languages Department at Columbia, if that's what they call it these days, and ask a professor there why 'Ciao' is sometimes used to convey hospitality when to me, it's so obviously instead a counterpart to the French word 'Adieu'. There's a ring of finality to saying 'Ciao' to someone, in my personal opinion based on what I know about Italian culture."

--"It might be very popular if someone would open up a Sardinia's Finest Dishes-type restaurant here. I would be curious enough to dine there at least once, in order to find out what makes Sardinian Cooking different from the other regions of Italy."

---"Personally, I wish the Catholic Church would sponsor a new cookbook entitled, 'Favorite Dishes of Mafia Martyrs'. The cookbook could be used as a fund-raiser for the anti-Mafia Community, no matter how tiny the anti-Mafia Community is here."

---"The difficulty of a cookbook like that is that if it features before and after photos of each of the recipe contributors who were murdered by the Mafia, anyone using cookbook in the kitchen of their own home might lose their appetite and not want to prepare any of the featured dishes."

---"I need to publicize the noble anti-Mafia group in Italy I learned about on the Internet. Maybe I could sponsor a fund-raiser for that group on Facebook, assuming that anyone would have the courage to identify themselves as a financial contributor at that event."

---"If you had to limit yourself to just one cheese from Italy, which cheese would it be? Would it be parmesan, mozzarella, provolone, or some other cheese?"

---"I delight in at least five cheeses from Italy, so ever since my childhood I have always imagined that there were five Heavens awaiting me after I pass away at age 95. One Heaven would feature Parmesan Cheese for its motif; another Heaven I could visit in my afterlife would feature Mozarrella cheese. The exquisite cheesiness of my afterlife focused on hopping from one Italian-Cheese heaven to the next, would be overwhelmingly blissful for me at all times."

---"I love your idea of hosting a fund-raising dinner party for that courageous non-profit group in Italy that opposes the Mafia. Maybe you could promise each of your dinner party guests that the financial donations they offer you at your fund-raising event will be strictly anonymous, so there is zero risk of violent retaliation from the Mafia dons of New York or Italy."

--"Maybe you could buy an '2001 Almanac of Current Mafia Dons' that provides you with their names and addresses, so if you receive a 'fan letter' with any of those names on the return address, you figure out that if you open that letter, it might explode on you."

---"Everyone has their blind spots. Whenever anyone corners me on the subject of why none of my own friends are Muslims, I politely mention that I am not the Secretary General of the UN. I'm not required to have any Muslim friends. Also, I do read factual news stories every month about conduct by cited Muslims that is very frightening to me."

---"If there were a 'Muslims Against Violence' non-profit group and each of their members could present me with an official membership ID card that looks valid, maybe I could identify some Muslims I might be able to trust enough to meet at a neutral site such as a restaurant or coffeehouse. I don't think I would ever be willing to invite them to visit me inside my apartment unit. My relationship with Muslims would be strictly limited to a conversation and meal inside a neutral site restaurant or coffeehouse that each of us feels comfortable with."