Among the warning signs that the person you just encountered for the first time ever consumes the very dangerous and illicit drug marijuana and is someone whom you should consider excluding from your own life on that basis:
---Does he state to you that he seeks a "liberal" person as his roommate?
---Does he comment to you that "I'm often late for work, but my boss is very cool about it"?
---Does he ever comment to you that "I just assume that all the single men in Austin get high on a frequent basis from smoking marijuana"?
---Does he ever comment to you that the Mexican song "La Cucaracha" is a personal favorite of his, and that he especially enjoys the lyrics of that folks song that declare, "ya no puede caminar, porque no tiene, porque le falta, marijuana a fumar"?
---Does he comment to you with no apparent context to his observation and a peculiar grin on his face, that "I find it eerie that the shape of Michigan on a map resembles a marijuana leaf; that entire state might as well declare to outsiders, 'Potheads are welcome here!"?
---Does he ever joke to you that "I'd rather be a pothead than a cheesehead or a meathead"?
---Does he confide to you that "I'm a Canadian citizen of divided loyalty---every morning, I salute the Maple Leaf; every evening, I salute the Marijuana Leaf"?
---Does he ever confide to you that "whenever I gaze at our Canadian national flag I am secretly hoping the maple leaf would disappear and get replaced by a marijuana leaf"?
---Does he ever admit to you that "I enjoy partying so much that I often forget when my next scheduled workshift begins at my workplace"?
---Does he ever confide to you that "I'm very lucky, since no one at my workplace can ever tell if I'm high while on the clock there; I have this amazing ability to come across as straight, even when I'm completely and shamelessly stoned!"?
---Does he ever joke with you that "If I were a botanist, the only type of plants I would ever want to collect for research purposes would be plants that I could smoke"?
----Does he emphasize to you repeatedly that he's "thrilled that the city we live in is a big Party Town!"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "it's not true that I have a one-track mind: Some of the time I'm thinking about Marijuana; some of the time I'm thinking about Cannibis; some of the type I'm thinking Grass; and some of the time I've got Weed on my mind"?
----Does he ever comment to you that "marijuana has a grand and noble history as a fabric known as kemp, and it's only in modern times that our prudish American society has chosen to classify marijuana as harmful"?
---Does he ever confide to you that "I spend a lot of my time in headshops"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "I'd love to attend a Kemp Fashion Show where the announcer suddenly declares in the middle of that show that 'Everything you see on this stage came from the marijuana plant'---it would be very funny to see the reactions he would get from the ladies attending that fashion show"?
---Does he react in a surprising manner when you politely inform him that you've heard that a "Joint" Session of your state's Legislature will be convened in the near future, with the former individual replying to your factual statement by declaring: "I'll bet they plan to all get together and throw a huge pot party featuring lots of marijuana joints being passed around! That sure sounds like major progress for our state government! They might even vote more intelligently if they are all high at the time!"?
----Does he ever declare to you that "it would be impossible for you to ever find a roommate for yourself who completely abstains from marijuana, since all the single men I know of smoke pot"?
---Does he refer to himself as being "cool," and does he repeatedly emphasize that he prefers to associate with other persons whom he regards as being "cool"?
---Does he ever state or indicate to you that he himself would never call the police to report possible evidence he has observed of a neighbor or coworker or acquaintance or complete stranger, for that matter, allegedly consuming or allegedly possessing or allegedly purchasing or allegedly selling any quantity of marijuana?
---Does he confide to you with a possible smirk on his face that "I have some vices in my lifestyle, some of which may technically speaking be in violation of the law"?
---Does he exhibit sudden bursts of intense fearfulness, accompanied by angry accusations he might hurl at you or some other person in your presence, such as, "You're a NARC informant for the police department, aren't you?"
---Does he ever exhibit sudden flashes of fearfulness bordering on hysteria in which he very abruptly glares at you with angry suspicion in his eyes and facial expression and demeanor, and then he then very emphatically states to you: "Prove to be that you are NOT an undercover cop!"?
----Does he ever ask you in an accusatory voice "if you are secretly videotaping me as I chat with you today, and if so, who else will be reviewing that videotape"?
---Does he react in a surprisingly hostile or unfriendly manner when you politely ask him if he would like to meet a personal friend of yours who happens to be employed as a police officer?
---Do you detect the possible scent of marijuana on his body or on his clothing?
---Do you detect the scent of marijuana on his breath?
---Does he appear to be someone who participates in indiscriminate sex with a wide range of sex partners?
---Does he state to you that he thrills to attending live outdoor electric-guitar rock concerts, and that he wishes he had been alive at the time in order to attend the famous Woodstock rock concert in either upstate New York or Vermont, and he's not sure which of the two U.S. states hosted that live outdoor rock concert featuring lots of celebrations of every type by rock music fans at that historic rock concert?
---Does he ever confess to you that "I've gotten high so often in my life that I find it impossible to imagine what it is like to be fully sober and straight for 24 consecutive hours."
----Does he ever joke in your presence that "Marijuana is Mexico's leading contribution to American society"?
----Does he ever comment within earshot of you that "one of my leading fantasies as a foodie here in Austin, Texas, is to eat 10 marijuana enchiladas in one 24-hour period that were each made from whole-wheat tortillas"?
----Does he ever state to you that "I don't classify consumption of marijuana by the Bong Method as illicit. The use of a bong makes the entire marijuana-smoking experience much more neat and tidy and elegant, in my opinion, and there is nothing the least bit improper about it"?
---Does he appear to be very passive and sedentary and fatigued for prolonged periods, when he is generally aggressive and physically active and energetic at other times of the day?
---Does he ever comment to you that "I wonder why I never see any stained glass window in the church I attend that features the outline of a marijuana leaf"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence, such as after sipping copious sips of margaritas while chatting with you, that "The one girl I love the most is a girl named Juana; and in fact I want very, very much to MARRY JUANA"?
----Does he ever confide to you that "to me, a hot date is synonymous these days with consumption of marijuana, since marijuana brings out the nymphomaniac in just about every single lady, and marijuana also makes me all the more virile and powerful in bed"?
----Does he ever respond to a question from you by himself asking you, "To what do you REEFER?", when he had in fact intended to ask you, "To what do you REFER?", with that gentleman then blushing beet red over what he suddenly senses at that very moment was a very revealing Freudian slip that he has just stumbled upon in your presence?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "the girl I married is someone I call 'Juana', and I always joke with my wife that 'I'm very merry around you, Juana, so much so that I plan to write a love poem in your honor that is entitled, 'I'm Very Merry Juana'"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "If you want to get merry, smoke more juana"?
----Does he appear to be addicted to alcohol?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "When I write my memoirs someday, I plan to devote an entire chapter of that book to offering my deep gratitude to a man I only knew on a first-name basis who made home deliveries to me on a weekly basis"?
---Does he describe his own political ideology and lifestyle as "liberal"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "I decided long ago that I am not seeking to get nominated to the Supreme Court, if you get my drift"?
---Is he under age 40 and single, and he describes his own political ideology as "liberal Democrat"?
---Does he ever comment to you with a possible smirk on his face that "I like to get wasted during my leisuretime"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "I love her dearly; she is so passionately hooked on marijuana that her first name might as well be 'Mary', her middle name might as well be 'Juana'"?
----Does he ever admit to you that "whenever I confess my sins to my priest, I make a point of never mentioning marijuana, since my priest would prefer to hear about sins I commit after I drink alcohol----alcohol puts a smile on my priest's face, since he's recalling that he used to promote it quite a bit through communion"?
---Does he ever comment to you that "I don't consume any illicit drugs; to me, there is nothing at all illicit about the monthly marijuana brownie-eating tradition that my friend and I pursue before we attend a symphony orchestra performance here in our city"?
---Does he ever boast to you that "I consider myself to be a gourmet snacker, since my most enjoyable dining experiences all occur for me when I'm experiencing the munchies"?
---Does he ever state or indicate to you that he "admires the goals and activities of the National Organization for Reform of Marijuana Laws," a group also known as "NORML"?
---Does he ever comment in your presence that "I always have a designated driver whenever I attend a party with friends of mine; I am very conscientious about getting high, since I definitely agree that I should not be behind the wheel when I'm high"?
---Does he ever state to you that he admires The Netherlands "because the Dutch are very enlightened in their outlook toward marijuana"?
----Does he ever state to you that "I deplore the way American society demonizes marijuana, when if you visit Amsterdam in The Netherlands, for instance, you find that purchasing marijuana there is a perfectly legitimate and honorable activity"?
----Does he ever comment to you with a smirk on his face that "I would like to develop an annual tradition of celebrating the birthday of the person who invented the marijuana cigarette"?
----Does he ever refer to being he owner of "rolling papers" in any cited context?
----Does he ever comment or indicate to you that he approves of a major recent political trend in the U.S. state of California, since the scope of government-endorsed farming there has been widened to include one particular crop that he especially adores?
---Does he ever confide to you that "If I ever do become a farmer, the only crop I'd want to raise on my farm would be marijuana"?
----Does he ever comment to you with a devilish grin on his face that "Honey, the ONLY type of smoking I ever do is of the NON-TOBACCO type"?
---Does he ever confide to you that "when I get high, I can never decide whether to hold my reefer in my right hand or my left hand---I'm ambidextrous, you see"?
---Does he ever joke to you that "I wish I were terminally ill, so I could smoke marijuana and get high all the time without getting arrested for it"?
---Does he ever confess to you that "I like to party a lot in my leisuretime"?
---Does he ever comment to you that "that actor is so natural in his performances that I sense he gets high on marijuana before he does his thing in front of cameras; and I myself refer to that as Marijuana Method Acting-----I'm very impresssed by the dazzling results these actors get with that strategy of theirs for enhancing their performance"?
---Does his short-term memory appear to be significantly impaired?
---Does he ever comment to you with a smile on his face while watching a professional tennis match with you that "the way he miss-hit the ball just then suggests to me that he's playing this singles match under the influence of marijuana."
---Does he ever boast to you that "I once worked an entire workshift at my workplace while I was high, and no one noticed"?
----Does he ever joke with you that "some people like to share Swiss Fondue with their friends; myself, I prefer to share a reefer or bong with my friends, that's my preferred outlet for sharing, if you will"?
---Does he ever comment to you that "I collect bongs as one of my hobbies; I consider them to be very attractive enhancements to my interior decor inside my home"?
---Does he ever ask you whether you also sense that "when someone's high, he's more likely to verbalize the F-word"?
---Does he ever state or indicate to you that "smoking marijuana is a lot less harmful to you than smoking tobacco cigarettes"?
---Does he ever state or declare to you that "at least with marijuana, there's no sharing of a needle; this is what makes marijuana smoking so much safer for you than if you and a friend shoot up with heroin together, since many of the needles get infected and this can spread the HIV virus if you and your friend are not careful"?
---Does he emphatically declare to you that "I look upon marijuana as a soft drug, while cocaine is a hard drug; and I of course stay away from hard drugs like the plague"?
---Does he smoke or consume any tobacco product?
---Does he ever hint or state or declare to you that he supports legalization of marijuana in any cited context?
---Does he ever confide to you that "my heart goes out to those innocent young persons who end up in prison merely because they smoked marijuana in their home, and that prison time completely ruined their lives"?
---Does he ever state to you that "The worst type of societal discrimination I know of is the discrimination against honorable persons who happen to smoke marijuana for pleasure as a leisuretime activity of theirs"?
----Does he ever state to you that "I strongly oppose random-drug testing of employees at the workplace, since it would violate my own privacy rights"?
---Does he ever state to you or indicate to you that he regards criminal-law investigations by police departments of individuals suspected of marijuana-related activities as "a waste of taxpayers' money, when the police should instead be spending their time and energy investigating major crimes such as murders and rapes"?
---Does he ever state to you that his lifestyle tends to be "wild and crazy"?
----When he attends a church service with you, does he suddenly ask you in the middle of the sermon, "Wouldn't it be interesting to find out how this clergyman would conduct himself if he got high on marijuana"?
---Does he ever state to you that "smoking marjuana works especially well for me at the sex orgies I attend here in Austin, since I'm always turned on sexually the entire time I am there"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "My girlfriend and I own His and Her Bongs"?
---Does he ever boast to you that "I'm at my most profoundly philosophical at 2 a.m. in the morning"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "wouldn't it be lots of fun to get high with someone and then tape-record our entire conversation after we're both stoned off our gourds"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "I would love to have my nocturnal dreams monitored during my bedtime hours inside my home; I'm very sure that my nighttime dreams would offer very favorable PR material for the 'Marijuana Community', as I like to call that favorite community of mine"?
---Does he ever state or indicate to you that "I could not possibly in good conscience ever vote for any candidate for elective office who admits that he supports enforcement of current laws that classify the production, possession, sale, distribution, and consumption of marijuana as a crime"?
---Does he ever state to you that "anyone who smokes marijuana is a friend of mine; in fact, I have never met any marijuana smoker whom I personally dislike---it's our Marijuana Smokers' Solidarity Movement, very revolutionary, you see"?
---Does he ever state to you that he regards marijuana as a "harmless" or "innocuous" illicit drug?
---Does he ever state to you that "my favorite foreign countries are the nations where marijuana is produced and exported in the biggest quantities, and this is why I keep the national flags of Mexico and Colombia on permanent display inside the living room of my home"?
----Does he ever state to you at your workplace that "as an immigrant from Mexico now living in Texas, I feel that the police here are too tough on arresting people for marijuana-related activities; back in Mexico, I could smoke marijuana all I wanted and the police there would never arrest me"?
---Does he ever sketch the outline of a marijuana leaf when he doodles on paper?
---Does he ever state to you in an apparently sly manner that "I love tea, but not the type of tea that you actually drink"?
---Does he ever state to you in a seemingly jovial manner that "Some of my best friends are potheads"?
---Does he ever state to you with anger in his tone of voice that he is very sure that smoking marijuana does not damage the brain in any way, and definitely does not destroy any brain cells?
---Does he ever comment to you that "I find it fascinating how my friends do these very creative monologues after they get high; and it's all so fun to listen to that dialogues disappear"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "The only thing that Paul and I agree on is the guy we each chose as our dope dealer; and I'm amazed that Paul and I even agree on that much"?
---Does he ever confess to you that "many of my own emotional peak experiences have been occasions when I got high smoking marijuana; there's something very special about the intimate camaraderie among marijuana smokers sharing a joint together in the same apartment"?
---Does he ever verbalize to you fantasies of any type relating to marijuana, such as if he comments to you in the middle of your conversation with him about another subject that "I'd love to write a biography about the world's very first marijuana-dealer, as I'm sure that would turn into a best-seller overnight here in the United States"?
---Does the interior decor of his apartment or home feature any sketch or photograph of a cannibis plant?
---Does he ever confide to you that "I own a DVD recording of the movie 'Marijuana Madness', and every year I host a huge Marijuana Madness Party in my home where my friends and I will all watch that hilarious movie while laughing our fannies off the entire time"?
----Does he ever joke to you that "whenever I learn that a hurricane is about to strike the area of Florida where I live, I always throw a huge Hurricane Madness Party in my home where my friends and I all get high and laugh ourselves silly over Ted or Sally, or whatever the most recent hurricane has been named by the meteorologists, and I always like to point out that no one knows the last name of Ted or Sally, they're like high-risk one-night stands to my friends and me"?
--Does he ever declare to you in a seemingly flippant manner that "Timothy Leary was the greatest professor in the entire history of Harvard University, my only quibble with him being that I would not have chosen LSD as my own drug of choice"?
---Does he ever state to you that he personally believes that smoking marijuana is "less harmful to you than drinking alcohol," as he may put it?
---Does he ever comment to you that "whenever that professional tennis player is not playing as well as usual, I myself just assume she got high the night before at that pro tennis tournament"?
---Does he ever confide to you that "the one professional tennis player I could identify with the most was Jennifer Capriati, and it isn't because we both have Italian ancestry"?
---Does he ever declare to you that "marijuana is so very, very natural, since after all it grows in the wild and is thereby endorsed by God as a botanical plant intended for cultivation and consumption by human beings"?
---Does he ever state to you that "Jesus Christ smoked marijuana, so it's a Biblically and divinely endorsed activity"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke in your presence that "I'd love to participate in an oral-history interview in which I'm stoned off my gourd and I am talking for 60 straight minutes about myself and my entire life, I feel very sure it would all be entertaining as hell to listen to later!"?
---Does he disagree with you when you state to him that you are very sure that smoking marijuana can cause lung cancer?
---Does he ever state to you that "my favorite restaurants are the ones open at 2 a.m. in the morning that cater to the Munchie Crowd here in Austin!"?
---Does he ever declare to you that "to me, nothing is more fun than to enter a restaurant at 2 a.m. and sense that all the other customers are also there because they've got this powerful craving for Munchies!"?
----Does he ever declare to you that "nowhere in the Bible does it say that smoking marijuana is a sin, and that proves to me that smoking marijuana cannot POSSIBLY be sinful!"?
----Does he ever state to you that "anything that comes from nature cannot be sinful, and marijuana is all from nature so smoking dope cannot possibly be a sin"?
---Does he ever state to you that "I am very sure that no one goes to Hell for smoking marijuana now and then, and in fact nowhere in the Bible will you find any passage saying that if you smoke marijuana, you will go to Hell"?
---Does he emphatically state to you that "I'm very sure that smoking marijuana will not trigger an addiction for you, since marijuana is one drug that can be consumed without ever developing an addiction to it"?
---Does he routinely refer to marijuana as "a very fine recreational drug, and after all, I love to spend my leisuretime pursuing recreational pleasures of every type, if you get my drift"?
---Does he ever joke in your presence that "I plan to emulate President Bill Clinton by smoking marijuana without ever inhaling"?
---Does he ever state to you that "smoking marijuana is not even a skeleton in your closet these days, look at Bill Clinton who got elected President of the USA after he smoked marijuana"?
----When he is asked to cite the names of the famous persosn whom he admires the most, do you find that one or more of the famous persons whom he cites was famous in part for having consumed the illicit drug marijuana on a frequent basis?
---Does he ever state to you that "I cannot imagine ever having sex with my girlfriend without both of us being high at the time"?
---Does he ever joke or half-joke to you that "the reefer I hold in my hand is my ultimate phallic symbol when I'm on a date with my girlfriend; she finds it very suggestive, so the reefer works very well in my foreplay repertoire"?
---Does he ever opine to you that "most marriages would completely fail if it weren't for the aphrodisciacal benefit from marijuana that holds the marriage together, since the pot makes it posible for the man to get an erection in the bedroom"?
----Does he ever comment to you that "marijuana is the one thing that has saved my romantic relationship, since I never have an impotence problem when I'm getting high with my girlfriend"?
----Does he ever confess to you that he was arrested at least once on a charge of driving a motor vehicle while under the influence of a foreign substance?
---Does he state or indicate that he enjoys baking or eating brownies, and you sense that his own cited affinity for brownies is somehow unsavory or illicit in nature?
----Does he ever state or confess to you that "when I attend a social party, I tend to say 'yes' to whatever the party host offers, since I like to be agreeable and I like to have fun"?
----Does he ever confess to you or joke in your presence that "many of the best trips I've been on occurred right in my own home"?
---Does he indicate or state that he has at least one regular or frequent visitor to his own home who possibly has ties to organized crime?
---Does he introduce you to one of his cited "friends" who knocks on his front door on a weekly basis by only stating that person's first name, and never identifying him by his last name?
---Does he frequently joke about marijuana, and does he appear to evaluate your own reaction and facial expression in response to those jokes of his about marijuana?
---Does he own any books or pamphlets or magazines in his home that appear to offer a flattering outlook toward marijuana?
---Does he ever cite to you the name of a famous person he admires who is also someone noted for having been a frequent consumer of marijuana?
----Does he ever state in your presence that he heartily approves of the lifestyle of Willie Nelson, the country-western singer and musician who reportedly resides in Central Texas?
----Does he ever comment to you that "I wish that Willie Nelson would write a new song praising marijuana, as I would love to sing that song to friends of mine whenever we're getting high together here in Austin"?
---Does he ever state to you that "it doesn't bother me if a friend or neighbor or coworker of mine smokes marijuana, since it doesn't affect me in any way"?
---Does he never once state or indicate to you that he himself has been victimized by marijuana in a context in which he was subjected to the scent of marijuana cigarettes being smoked by other persons a matter of feet or yards or inches from himself?
---Does he never himself express concern that the problem of "passive smoking" can also be applicable to tenants at an apartment complex whose next-door neighbor smokes marijuana inside that neighbor's apartment unit?
---Does he never once express concern to you that "the sweet fragrance of marijuana being smoked in the background can be tragically misleading, it seems to me"?
---Does he ever on any occasion state to you that "to me, mellowness is the one trait I look for the most in prospective friends. They have to be mellow and cool, or I couldn't possibly be their friend."
---Does he ever state to you that "I don't smoke marijuana myself, but if someone else wants to smoke marijuana in the privacy of their own home, that is perfectly fine with me"?
---Does he ever state to you that "I think you should celebrate your birthday by smoking a joint of marijuana"?
---Does he ever declare loudly in your presence that "I have a sweet nose, you might say---I'm naturally very drawn to anything that smells sweet; and marijuana has a wonderfully sweet fragrance \to it that is positively heavenly"?
---Does he ever comment candidly to you that "I plan to write to Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz and ask her whether her endorsement of aromatherapy also includes sniffing the fragrance of marijuana beiug smoked, since marijuana has a wonderfully sweet scent to it that I feel very sure has to be good for my health"?
----Does he ever state to you that "some of my best friends have been drug dealers"?
---Does he ever state to you that he is particularly fond of Mexico and Colombia, yet he appears evasive when you ask him what in particular makes him especially fond of the Latin American nations of Mexico and Colombia?