MORE FROM THE NEW YORK SCENE: AN IMAGINARY EAVESDROPPER'S REPORT

--"You can look at it this way. New York was our very first national capital when George Washington assumed office. Now Donald Trump has brought New York back into the picture as the focal point for everyone. If I were an English teacher, I think I'd call that a return to the beginning literary technique. Not that Donald is literary. He's sub-literate, if you ask me."

---"There are days when I hear Donald Trump verbally assaulting his latest victim, and I suddenly think of muggers in Central Park. Does Donald Trump ever remind you of a mugger?"

---"I'm not sure they call them muggers at Central Park anymore. That was a 1970s term, and today our vocabulary is more advanced. We call them special-crimes perpetrators, suggesting that everything that happened to the victim was all very special and unique, so to speak."

---"Do you know of any U.S. President who was ever photographed for a mug shot? I'm so worried that Donald will be the one to make history that way, and it's going to make New York look really awful, since many Americans think he is very New York. I frankly feel that Donald Trump is as disastrous as King Kong was to New York City."

---"It would be fascinating to find out which newspaper or magazine Donald Trump reads first when he gets up in the morning these days. But maybe I'm expecting too much from him. Maybe it's just a channel-surfing kind of thing he does early in the morning with his television set in the Oval Office. I'm not sure that he does actually read the newspapers."

---"With all the people talking about how much they dislike President Trump's performance, no one is asking what he eats for breakfast. Maybe he is eating the wrong food in the morning to do a first-rate job as our President. Maybe he should hire a Breakfast Nutrition consultant."

---"I think a lot of New Yorkers are worried that they will end up shaking Donald Trump's hand at some point during his presidency, and it will be the ONLY U.S. President they ever shook hands with. Can you imagine the intense disgust that so many New Yorkers will register on their face immediately after President Tump pressured them into shaking hands with him?"

---"One newspaper story I'm glad I have not read is a feature story about next-door neighbors of Donald Trump who complain that he wasn't a Good Neighbor, in their opinion. No one cares whether Donald was willing to lend a cup of sugar to his neighbor if they ran out while preparing a cake in their own home."

---"The National Enquirer has lost all credibility with me, since every week that tabloid features nothing but praise for Donald Trump. It's the exact opposite of what that tabloid has done to every other President before Trump. It's sickening to see how they kiss Donald every week in their publication that's supposed to be dedicated to nasty scandal-mongering and mud-slinging!"