My most recent Roommate Wanted Ad, which I posted today on the copyrighted "Craigslist" website for Rooms & Shares in Salt Lake City, Utah:
$500 / 2br - 900ft2 - Seek White Natural-Blond-Haired Politely Masculine Male Roommate (Downtown Salt Lake City)
200 East, Salt Lake City, UT 84111
2BR / 1Ba 900ft2 available jul 1
rent period: monthly
private room
apartment
no private bath
dogs are OK - wooof
laundry in bldg
off-street parking
no smoking
air conditioning
"Your share of monthly rent will be $500, with no charge to you for water or electricity. (If you own a pet dog, you would be asked to pay a monthly dog-related fee that would be added to your $500 monthly share of rent.)
"You will get a lockable very spacious and massive carpeted bedroom with light green freshly painted walls and a large bay window inside a beautiful, modern 900-Square-foot rental apartment. You will have your own control panel for central air conditioning and central heating inside your own bedroom.
"My own bedroom will be nearly all of or most of the partitioned living room.
"Apartment we share features a modern kitchen with 4-burner stove and oven, large kitchen sink, modern refrigerator and freezer, lots of storage space in closets and cabinets.
"Shared-access lockable modern bathroom can be entered through a hallway separate from either bedroom. Bathroom features a sink, cabinet space, and a bathtub that can also be used for taking showers.
"I as your next roommate am a single adult English-Scottish-German-ancestry white non-Hispanic gentleman with no criminal-conviction record. I am a politely law-abiding and pro-law-enforcement member of the White Non-Hispanic racial group. I am a gainfully employed, permanently alcohol-free, lifelong-tobacco-free, facially cleanshaven, lifelong-tattoo-less, dependably civil and law-abiding, longtime celibate and platonicly polite, disease-free and fully up-to-date on my vaccinations, kind, conscientous, honest, polite, clean-talking and non-profane permanent resident of Utah, with courageous ancestors of mine in this great state ever since the 1840s. My very honorable current relatives here in Utah include members of the 'Pugh' clan and the 'McMillan' clan.
"You as a True Gentleman Age 19 or Older Fit the Following Description:
"---You are Tactfully Honest and Facially Cleanshaven and Tattoo-Less and Lead a Permanently Alcohol-Free, Permanently Tobacco-Free, Permanently Marijuana-Free, Permanently Illicit-Drug-free, Law-Abiding, Pro-Law Enforcement, Clean-Talking (Virtually No Profanity) Lifestyle.
"---You are NOT a 'Recovering Alcoholic' or 'Former Alcoholic' or a 'Former Drug Addict'.
"----You are Physically Active and Intellectually Incisive.
"----You enjoy lifelong sports and athletic activities such as hiking, swimming, tennis, racquetball, and roller-skating.
"----You lawfully oppose reverse discrimination in hiring practices or employment practices in any context that discriminates against law-abiding white Anglo-Saxon adult gentlemen.
"-----You strongly oppose inter-racial stalking, inter-racial verbal harassment, and inter-racial sexual assault victimizing anyone. You might support a proposed revision of state law here in Utah that would impose a stricter punishment on a crime perpetrator found guilty in a court of law here in Utah of having raped someone outside of the rapist's own racial group, with Inter-Racial Sexual Assaults Possibly Being Classified as Hate Crimes here in Utah.
"----You are alarmed by any report you may have read about the infliction of continuous noise pollution as a political weapon against targeted individuals.
"-----You lead a relatively quiet lifestyle.
"----You oppose Thought Control projects.
"----You are not a vigilante. You believe in politely contacting the police if you ever observe noteworthy evidence of a possible felony crime.
"----You Support Freedom of Religion and Freedom of Speech for anyone and everyone in a context involving non-anonymous communications and respect for the privacy rights of others."
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