TO THE HYPOTHETICAL ADULT YOUNGER GENTLEMAN WHO JUST RECEIVED A VERY IMPRESSIVE PROMOTION IN YOUR CAREER AND WHO ASKS ME FOR MY ADVICE, I URGE YOU TO PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING STEPS TO MAKE THE MOST OF THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOURSELF:

---PLEASE refrain from participating in any binge drinking consumption of alcohol at any time during the first six-month period of your new position of employment. If you are consistently sober and proper and polite, this will greatly impress your work supervisors and associates.

--PLEASE refrain from consuming any drinking alcohol during any of your workdays or in any of the meals you eat in the middle of a workday for you.

--PLEASE make a point of identifying ANY possible current addiction you may currently have that might possibly undermine your job performance in any way, or that might possibly put you at risk of getting arrested by a law-enforcement agency or being subjected to a traffic-violation citation, or that might possibly subject you to a medical injury or emergency hospital room visit, at any time during the first six months of your new position of employment.

If you are able to identify ANY addiction you currently have that fits the above description, consider obtaining a loan from your credit union (if you are a current member of one) or borrowing from a trusted relative or a trusted friend, with the sole specific purpose of that loan being to yourself enroll in a successful addiction-treatment program ASAP that can help you to ensure that your first six months in your new job go very well for you.

---PLEASE pay closer attention than ever to driving within the speed limit at all times, when you travel by automobile, and to driving that vehicle in a very responsible and prudent and cautious and law-abiding manner. If you appear to be a "steady hand behind the wheel", this will make your supervisors and associates all the prouder that they chose to promote you to that new job you have just begun.

--PLEASE strive to arrive at least 15 minutes early for any and all of your scheduled appointments or scheduled meetings or clock-ins at the workplace that you pursue or attend while on duty for your company. This reputation for consistent promptness by you will help to reassure your work supervisors and associates that you are admirably polite, respectful, diligent, and conscientious in your new position of employment for your company.

--PLEASE refrain from patronizing any nightclubs or pick-up bars during the first six months of your new job.

--PLEASE refrain from participating in any fist-fights or major altercations or heated arguments at any time during the first six months of your new job.

--PLEASE refrain from verbalizing within earshot of any associate of yours any profane word or off-color word or flagrantly misanthropic word that might undermine your ability to convey a cheerful, optimistic, kind, polite, and gentlemanly style.

--PLEASE strive to yourself present a consistently cleanshaven, cleancut, well-groomed personal appearance throughout the entire six-month "probationary period" in which you are being scrutinized and monitored very closely by supervisors of yours at you workplace.

--PLEASE refrain from wearing more than one total ring, such as a wedding ring or engagement ring, throughout your entire six-month "probationary period" as a newly promoted employee for your company.

--PLEASE refrain from wearing any item of jewelry that you believe or suspect might possibly detract from your ability to convey a consistently professional style as a gentleman with a strong sense of platonic purposefulness in your career pursuits.

---PLEASE refrain from having any additional tattoos emblazoned anywhere on your body. If you impose a six-month ban on yourself obtaining any additional tattoos on your own body, this could help to convey your hygienic, professional style while on duty for your company.

--PLEASE refrain from consuming or purchasing any marijuana or any medical marijuana or any cocaine or any crack-cocaine or any other illicit drug at any time during the first six months of your new job.

--PLEASE refrain from attending any "party" or "dinner party" to which you are invited, if you have any reason to believe or suspect that any quantity of marijuana or any other illicit drug will be consumed by AT LEAST ONE PERSON at that party or dinner party.

--PLEASE refrain from spending any of your own hard-earned money on gambling at any time during the first six months of your new position of employment.

--PLEASE strive to reduce or minimize your consumption of any and all tobacco products throughout that very crucial six-month "probationary" period in which you are being evaluated on a frequent basis by work supervisors of yours and professional associates of yours.

--PLEASE spend as little time as possible with "smoke breaks" for yourself, if you are in fact a smoker who is not yet able to quit smoking. Also, make sure that any "smoke break" you participate in is a "smoke break" that your work supervisors have specifically approved for you in advance as acceptable to your employer.

--PLEASE keep a daily log of how many total minutes per workshift you are using to participate in "smoke breaks", if you are in fact a smoker and are not yet able to quit smoking altogether. Then promptly report to your immediate supervisor about that, in order to determine whether you should clock out immediately before  each and every "smoke break" you take. Your consulting your supervisor about your "smoke breaks" will also help you to determine whether the total number of minutes you devote per workshift to taking a "smoke break" is acceptable to your employer. It is possible that your employer will want you to make up for those "smoke break" minutes through a later clock-out time upon conclusion of your entire workshift.

--PLEASE refrain from inviting any of your coworkers or work supervisors or professional associates to "date" you during your off-duty time. This will protect your professional credibility and platonic-politeness credibility with all of your associates during this very, very crucial six-month period for you in your new position of employment.

---PLEASE politely decline any invitation from any female associate of yours, or any other associate of yours, to go on an off-duty "romantic date" with them. It is imperative throughout your entire first six months of your new position of employment that you demonstrate a strong sense of separating your professional life from your off-duty personal life.

--PLEASE refrain from paying any of your own money to attend any X-rated or pornographic movie at a movie theater, or to watch any X-rated or pornographic movie inside your own home, throughout the entire six-month probationary period for you in your new position of employment. This restraint on your part will help to convey the message to your work supervisors and associates that you are very job-focused and you have a strong sense of platonic purpose in your very impressive new role for your company.

---PLEASE strive to limit your own physical contact with any and all of your work associates or supervisors to handshakes or polite "verbal hugs", which will protect you against any possible risk of any associate of yours ever filing a harassment complaint against you with a work supervisor.

---PLEASE refrain from subjecting any coworker or associate of yours to any "prank" or "mischief" of any type at any time during your first six months of employment in your very impressive new career. This will signal the right message to your work supervisors that you are determined to be a true gentleman at all times in your new career-related life.

---PLEASE strive for tactful and polite work-related comments throughout the entire first six months of your very impressive new position of employment. This will help to demonstrate to your supervisors within you company that you are, in fact, a very responsible gentleman with a dependably professional style.

---PLEASE strive to consult honorable relatives and friends of yours who have had a proven record of success at achieving upward mobility in their career. Their suggestions and ideas and tips on how you can make the most of your wonderful career-related promotion will help you to maintain a calm, composed, confident, and hard-working style throughout the very crucial first six months of your new job.

---PLEASE consider inviting a trusted personal friend or trusted relative of yours to accompany you on at least one of your out-of-town business trips that you pursue during the first months of your new position of employment. Including that trusted confidante in your "new career life" will help to remind you to conduct yourself in a responsible, honorable manner throughout the very crucial six-month "probationary period" of your new job.

---PLEASE in your off-duty time consider attending a house of worship at least once per week, which will help you to achieve a sense of sublime devotion to your and others' lives during this very sensitive first six months of your new job. It will also be conducive to success in your new position of employment if you are encouraged, with help from attendance at a house of worship, to strive for an honest, moral, and kind style as a professional gentleman and human being.